Chapter 45.

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Edited by KitWulf                                        08-05-2021

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The foul mood she'd been in since early morning was still very much present. The nightmare she had that night hadn't helped. She was surprised how they'd changed over the years though; from being attacked and getting killed, nightmares about the Phoenix, to slowly what they've become now. Nightmares of her killing people and enjoying every single moment of it. The desire to hunt, taste blood and see life falter from one's eyes. It always ended with her killing Lucas. Either provoked by someone else or she was unaware until it was done. If she had to believe the dreams, she truly was a monster.

"Are you going to stay angry at me the whole time?" Lucas parked the car at the campus and turned to Azura who was staring out the window. "Look, I already said I was sorry. I know I crossed a line but right now, you're being unreasonable." He placed his hand on her leg and she slowly moved her head towards him. After giving him the death stare for a while she finally spoke up.

"I know." There was no trace of guilt on her face as she admitted it. "I just really don't appreciate your PMS jokes. I don't need you reminding me of the fact I no longer menstruate and can't have any children. Not that I wanted them but when it's as definite as it is with me, it still feels like I've been robbed of some of my womanhood. I could always change my opinion when it was just in my head, now the choice has been made for me without my consent and I don't like to be reminded of that. So, I'm going to be unreasonable for as long as I think it's needed."

The calmness in her voice betrayed she was no longer truly mad at him. Lucas gave her a small smile and quickly gave her a peck on the cheek before she could swat him away. She grunted a bit but didn't react to him. Instead, she undid her seatbelt and wanted to get out of the car without saying anything. As she opened the door and turned to get out, Lucas grabbed her arm and made her turn towards him again. The frown on his forehead and the way he examined her face showed he still wasn't sure if they were ok.

"Look, Azu. I truly am sorry. I really didn't intend to hurt you with that joke. You know that right?" He slowly let go of her arm as she gazed down before looking up again.

"I know." Another 'I know' but it was different from the first one.

She gave him a small nod gesture and sounded a bit more forgiving this time around. Without elaborating any further both got out of the car and started walking towards Sloan's office. Staying silent, Azura eventually took his hand in her own and kept staring ahead of her as she did. Lucas glanced down as she did so and smiled as he softly started drawing circles with his thumb in the palm of her hand.

It was considerably more crowded at the campus now than it was last time they were here. Most of the students didn't pay any attention to them as they were too busy with each other or themselves. Azura couldn't help but compare it to a beehive and wondered how she had fit in here without going insane. There was a constant buzzing noise of people talking, laughing, and moving around without looking. They weaved their way through the people until they entered the courtyard again. Her palms were getting clammy and her stomach was twisting itself in ways she never thought possible as they were getting closer to the Professor's office.

"Why are you so nervous?"

"What?" She glanced at Lucas as he stopped walking. She brushed some hair out of her face and her eyes darted around the courtyard hastily.

"I asked why you're so nervous. It's just Professor Sloan."

"Well maybe because he has actual information that will probably be more bad news and more surprises. I don't know if I want to hear it but I know I'll have to. The past two days have just been so calm and normal and I know that's going to change again. I don't know if I'm ready for that." She bit her lip showing her insecurity. No matter how hard she wanted to try to keep up the facade of a tough girl, there were times around Lucas where she just couldn't.

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