Unbelieving (A Johnlock Fanfiction)

Candle

Chapter 7:

John

Mrs. Hudson came fleeing up, of course, when she heard all the commotion.

And she cried.

My heart broke for her. Just a little, it broke and shook me. I looked at the room with a new sight, her sight. And I saw devastation. I saw a wreck of a room, of a life.

I saw me.

She lifted her head to look at me, I was expecting words of consolation. Instead,

"Go and apologise, John, right now." She said, fuming. I didn't have anything to say to her. If I ever did, I would've said it long ago. To her, to everyone I'd dragged into this hellhole. But I had nothing except a few stale tears I'd kept inside, so I went, down the stairs, each as heavy as the last one. I could feel her gaze ripping through my back. I wanted to melt away in this sea of condemn. Instead, I treaded forward, carefully measuring my words with my steps.

---

As I stepped off the last of the stairs, my eyes started searching for her, but my mind wasn't. My mind told me to run away, to avoid facing her.

I was going to consider fleeing, but then I heard her voice from the kitchen. My heart dropped into my stomach. I hadn't eaten for days, but today it felt emptier than a starving stomach. It felt like a settling nothingness.

I reached for the entrance to the kitchen when I realise that the voice wasn't of her crying. In fact, she was talking on the phone.

I scoffed, "Apologise." I was still angry, but I tried not to show it. For Mrs. Hudson's sake.

I entered the kitchen, minimising the noise of my feet. I was eavesdropping, yes. I didn't really care if it was unethical or if it was unfit for me to do so, she knew something about Sherlock and I didn't. That was more than enough of a reason.

As I went closer, I was relieved and also.. ashamed. I shouldn't have been doing this, but in time, you will understand why it was a good decision made.

"-and he hasn't been eating." I heard her say.

Me? She's talking about me? To someone else? What the hell?

My heart rate shot up like the crescendo of a song, and I stopped dead in my tracks. I wanted to listen. It was about me. She was talking about me, and I was sure I had more than a clear idea of who that was.

"Oh no. Mrs. Hudson seems fine to me. Yeah." She paused, and lowered her voice, "Mr. Holmes, the bigger problem is if he finds out- "

"What.." I gasp. She swiveled on her heels, her face panic stricken, pale as a sheet and she lowered her phone, the hand shaking like a twig.

"No..no no NO JOHN!" She yelled as I looked at her, horrified, my eyes bloodshot. She rested her hand on her forehead and shut her eyes.

"You LIAR!" I yelled.

"It's.. It's not like it seems John, it's not how it looks like, believe me, please."

I straightened my clothes, and cleared my throat. I extend a hand towards her.

"I want to talk to him." I said, my voices alarmingly calm, shaking nonetheless.

"..What?" She asked timidly.

Oh for God's sake. "I want to talk to him." I repeated like the first time.

"No.. no you.. what? You ca- can't.. It's not him." She said finally, backing up, pulling the phone out of my reach a little.