Angel with a shotgun(Destiel)(Sterek)

Emotions

Dean stepped out onto the front porch of Bobby's house to find Castiel sitting on the top step.

"There you are," Dean seated himself next to the angel.

"Hello, Dean," Cas gave a stiff smile.

"So, Stiles called. They found Gabriel."

"I'm guessing by the pleased tone, they convinced him to help," Cas asked with a softer smile this time.

"Yeah, he'll be back here tomorrow," Dean nodded.

"And where are you on finding the witch? Rowena was it?" Cas looked back out at the evening sky.

"Still looking, but we'll find her, and we'll get my brother free of that..." Dean trailed off, a look of disgust on his face.

"I'm very happy for you, Dean," Cas spoke with a slightly sad tone.

"What's up, Cas? You've been quiet since the whole...warehouse thing," Dean cleared his throat awkwardly. He didn't want to mention Jimmy.

"I've always heard being around humans for extended periods of time could cause us to feel things. It's why we're not permitted to spend much time here. I've never spent more than a day here at a time. It's strange this...feeling things," Cas spoke, looking up as if at Heaven itself.

"What is it you're feeling exactly?" Dean frowned. He hadn't realized angels could feel at all.

"I'm not sure. I'm unfamiliar with human emotions. How do you differentiate between sadness and anger?" Cas turned to face the hunter, a curious look in his eyes.

"Uh, well, anger makes you want to lash out sometimes, do things like break something or yell. Sadness is less harsh. It can make you want to cry or you just feel...like you're helpless or lonely," Dean had never had to explain what emotions felt like. It wasn't as easy as you'd think.

"I think I feel both of those. Is that possible?" Cas frowned.

"Yeah, you can feel all sorts of things at the same time. Like Stiles coming home, it has me excited to see him, relieved he'll be with us again, anxious because things are tense between us, and irritated that Derek will be with him," Dean explained with a shrug.

"I'm sad that Jimmy is dead, but I am glad that he is safe in heaven," Cas nodded as if understanding what Dean was saying. "I'm also angry for what Heaven did. And I feel..." Cas paused trying to think of the word.

"Feel what?" Dean urged. He'd never been one for talking about emotions and feelings, but it was different with Cas. Everything was different with Cas.

"I'm not sure. They lied to me. They tricked me. They were supposed to..." Cas trailed off, a frown embedded between his eyes.

"You feel betrayed. Let down. Alone in a losing battle," Dean nodded. He knew those feelings well.

Cas looked at Dean, the frown gone and in it's place was a sad look in his eyes. "Alone. Yes, very much alone," he turned his eyes back towards the sky.

"Hey," Dean reached out, placing a hand on Cas' arm. "You're not alone. You've got me, and Sam and Bobby and Stiles. I know we're not much, we're definitely not heaven, but we're family."

A look crossed Cas' face that Dean couldn't place.

"You truly mean that," it wasn't posed as a question.

"Look, I don't know what it's like to be an angel, but I know what it's like to have an absent father who expects too much of you. I know what it's like to fight with your siblings, I know what it's like to be in a losing battle and I know what it's like to feel alone. I can't promise to understand everything you're going through, but I'm here in any way you need me," Dean swallowed hard. The words fell too easily from his mouth. He was usually more guarded than this.

"Thank you, Dean," Cas gave a sincere smile. He was getting better at it. The stiffness eased up and he allowed the humanity he was feeling to seep through.

"Do you ever regret it? Picking us over them?" Dean asked then.

"There were moments when I was unsure of my decision, if I had done the right thing. But I don't regret it. I would choose you again, if I had to. And as we go through this, I'll keep choosing you, Dean, every time," Cas' blue eyes were staring into Dean's hunter green ones.

It was in that moment that Dean knew, he was in trouble. He'd fallen for the angel. Who did that? How broken was he? He'd fought this side of him for years, unable to disappoint his father again. Even after John was gone, he didn't dare give any guy a second glance at a bar. It was too easy to recall the fear his father had instilled in him. But now sitting here with Cas, that fear didn't mean anything to him. The only thing he could think of was what it would be like to kiss Cas. His eyes dropped the angel's full lips.

"Is something wrong, Dean? You seem to be...longing." Cas frowned.

Dean drug his eyes away from Cas' mouth and to the concrete steps below him. He forgot Cas could sense his want as if it were a silent prayer. He hated it. He knew the more Cas started to understand human emotions; he would figure out what Dean was feeling towards him.

"Nothing's wrong, Cas," Dean lied. He was wrong. He was wrong for falling for Cas. Wrong for allowing himself to be vulnerable around the angel. Wrong for being broken.

"Concern," Cas said then, causing Dean to look back up.

"What?"

"I think I'm feeling concern. I want to make sure you're okay and I don't think you are. Is that concern? Or is it worry?"

Dean gaped at the angel for a moment before responding. "Yeah...concern, worry they kind of go hand in hand. They're similar," He swallowed hard. How could he not fall for the angel? He wasn't even human and yet he treated Dean like he was the most important person. He worried over him. Made sure he was safe. Looked after his brothers. Talked to Dean like he was a friend and not just a hunter doing a job. Other than his brothers and Bobby nobody treated Dean like that. Hell his own father hadn't even treated Dean like that.

"If you want to talk, perhaps I could ease your mind," Cas offered, his eyes piercing through Dean like he was reading his soul.

For a brief moment Dean considered opening up, telling Cas how scared he was of failing. Tell him how much he hated how broken he was. How he was afraid his relationship with Stiles was at risk. Tell him he missed his relationship with Sam. Tell him he missed his dad despite how much of an asshole he was. He considered telling Cas that he was falling for him, but he shoved the urge down.

"I'm good, man," Dean stood then. He gave the angel's shoulder a gentle squeeze before going back inside.

Cas turned his eyes to the ground with a frown before muttering the emotion he was feeling, "Disappointed."

*AN*
Here you are, lovelies! Let me know what you think!😊