Vicious Femmes (a Percy Jackson AU)

The Burn Book

The day after our shopping trip, Drew invited me to her room. It's one of the grandest rooms at court, Nancy had told me. Drew's mother, Aphrodite, was gifted it by Poseidon. When I asked why, Silena told me that her mother was a courtesan. The only difference between a courtesan and a harlot is that one is rich and the other is not, Nancy had told me out of the earshot of her two friends.
Drew introduced me to her mother before we headed up to her room, which she had demanded from her mother on her thirteenth birthday. Aphrodite was a woman in her late thirties with all the grace and elegance of a courtier combined with stunning beauty. One thing I realized when I gazed at her was that all of her daughters looked different. They are different kinds of beauty, I thought. Aphrodite was more vanilla with hair that was dirty blonde so it looked different depending on the light, hazel colored eyes, and chiseled features.
"Hello darlings," she said, giving us a gummy smile that men were fond of. "Is this your new friend, Annabeth?"
They nodded and I gave Drew's mom a smile, feeling self-conscious underneath her gaze. Her hair was perfectly styled and her dress was stylish, but when Drew told her mother to change her hairdo, Aphrodite complied. I wondered how Drew spoke so roughly with her mother and got away with it. Helen has always raised her voice the second I disobeyed her — even slightly.
"Her mom doesn't fight directly," Nancy whispered into my ear. "She is used to being pushed around by men who only want her for her beauty, so she lets Drew do what she wants."
As I followed the Poupées up to Drew's room, I felt thankful that I had wits. No man could love me for my looks alone. Drew's room took my breathe away. I had thought my bed was majestic, but Drew has feather-stuffed pillows and blankets that were intricately embroidered.
      As she showed me her room, she listed all the things she had gotten — demanded — from her mother. There was a large fan made of peacock feathers that her mother had received from a Venetian merchant. There was a large array of creams, rouges made of crushed flowers, and jars of perfume from all around the world. An ivory comb lay upon a plate encrusted with mother-of-pearl on a cedar side table.
      Drew's closet was the most impressive. Even wealthy women at court usually had only a few dresses and would switch up the bodice or skirt to diversify their outfits, but Drew's closet was overflowing with garments. The garments were made from a variety of materials. I saw velvet, silk, linen, wool, and cotton in every hue of the rainbow. Drew's jewelry box was similarly overflowing with bracelets and necklaces and earrings made of precious stones and metals. I was shocked by it all; Drew was as wealthy as a queen.
       "I'll need to get a new dress for the spring ball at court," Drew sighed.
Another dress? She already had more than a dozen!
"I can sew," I offered. "My stepmother had me make the garments at home."
"I only go to professional tailors," Drew said, wrinkling her nose.
I didn't have time to process her slight because Nancy suddenly giggled and pointed at a leather-bound book. It looked plain, but all the girls smiled at each other as they opened it up.
"This is our burn book," Drew explained. "We have information on every courtier and servant here."
"Come and see it," Nancy said. "It's super funny."
    I saw familiar names jump out at me as they flipped through the pages. Piper: ugly strumpet. Hazel: her hair is made of a horse's mane. Queen Sally: too ugly to keep her husband faithful. Aphrodite: ugly hag. Thalia: sleeping with a peasant. Reyna: secretly a man. Katie: invites men to the gardens. Miranda: seduces men in fountains. Juniper: visits the tavern every night. Lacey: sometimes skips Sunday Mass. Leila: smells like barley. Dakota: too drunk to function. Jason: made out with a brick. Percy: less intelligent than Silena.
Octavian: likes to disembowel stuffed animals.
Frank: clumsy ox. Grover: in love with his panpipes. Will: has slept with every kitchen girl. Matt: kisses like a wall. Poseidon: bed-swerver. Hades: smells like a rotten corpse. Persephone: gold-digger. Travis and Connor: they stole from the king's treasury. Tyson: secretly a cyclops. Beckendorf: in love with his forge. Leo: smells like soot. Calypso: about as musically talented as a crow.
   I was struck by how frank many of these descriptions seemed, but my friends laughed at them. I was also surprised that Drew was fine talking trash about her mother and sisters. Beside Nico do Angelo's name, there was nothing.
     "He's hard to pin down," Nancy admitted.
      "I heard he's too infatuated with men to be one himself," I blurted out.
Drew smiled and said, "That's original."
She wrote it done and I realized that my words had gone down on paper. Was this what I wanted? I gazed at my friends, though, and let laughter wash away the guilt.