Aubrey, the Star

02: gravity

Aubrey

★

gravity - "a force that pulls everything together."

I didn't have many belongings to pack.

My room was our living room. Mom could only afford a one-bedroom apartment on a waitress' salary and I never complained - not one bit.

Our beat-up couch pulled out into an even more beat-up mattress that I could never get a good night's rest on. Mom had the best bed in her room. She told me that she'd be willing to take the living room, but it was never a discussion I bothered entertaining. She needed sleep more than I ever did. Besides, I liked watching TV and the only one we had was in my "bedroom." It was ancient, but it worked - sometimes. It still needed an antenna wrapped in foil and if it was storming then I knew not to even bother. Hell, we didn't even have cable.

My home was decrepit and not in the best part of town. Still, that didn't matter to me either. As long as I had my mom, then all was fine. I followed enough of her rules and did what I had to do in school. Mom always preached about the importance of school. She told me how she graduated high school, but could never afford college.

She made it her mission to make sure that I'd go further than her. Mom wasn't much help with homework, but she made sure it got finished somehow. And sometimes, I hated her for the way she breathed down my neck.

In a little box, I packed the few pictures and trinkets that I had left of mom. It was hard to believe that familiarity would be a memory from here on out. The thought of her would now have to be packed away into a dusty, cardboard box and be reopened just when I wanted to reminisce. I hated thinking that.

I heard him before I saw him. Charles, my alleged father, cautiously stepped through the front door. Ms. Barnes was sitting at the "dining table," which were just two fold-up desks put together, watching my every move.

My concentration was focused on properly getting multiple pairs of jeans to fit into one corner of a suitcase when Charles gasped slightly. His presence had shaken me to the core. Now, I just tense up around him. I had promised Ms. Barnes that I wouldn't verbally attack him the way I did earlier. So, my teeth were practically through my tongue, almost drawing blood to hold true to that promise.

"It may seem like she was a woman of little means, but with Aubrey, she had a lot," Ms. Barnes said to Charles. My eyes were trained to the suitcase, packing the jeans one pair at a time in an organized fashion.

"If I had known...," Charles trailed off. I looked up at him sharply, my eyes connecting with his wearied ones. "I would've done something if I had known." He meant if he bothered to know if I existed. My eyes rolled with a mind of their own. There was no time for his blind emotion.

"Reena Wilson was independent from what Aubrey told me," Ms. Barnes said. Her voice was so soft it made me cringe. "You couldn't have known. There's no need to go blaming yourself."

I scoffed and zipped the suitcase with more fury than necessary. Who was she to comfort this man? He loved mom a lifetime ago. Maybe. Mom never bothered to tell me their story. Yet, based off his crying earlier my gut wanted me to admit that it must've been a love ocean deep.

Except, men are deceiving. Well, that's what mom would say when we'd watch Maury in the afternoons. I'm only assuming she was thinking about my absent father. She didn't trust men and neither did I. Why deal with people that are prone to leave you so emotionally wrecked? For love? Spare me.

"I'm ready," I mumbled to anyone who bothered to listen. Charles reacted first. He walked over to me, brushing alongside me to collect the single suitcase that I held by its handle. "Thanks." He gave me a tight smile. I turned away.