MATE(S) [N./V.]

•56•

-Z-

"Why have you come out here? I told you to stay inside at night," I say as I hear her footsteps approach. She stops at the top of the stairs and I feel her eyes bore into me.

"I... I sensed you were upset-or worried- I don't know, something inside of me was telling me you weren't okay... I heard you, so I thought it'd be okay to come out..."

"I'd much prefer for you to stay inside Gwendolyn, even if you know for sure it's me," I tell her, as I feel her approach me. She stops short and just stares at me, but I don't want to turn around and let her see the worry and wear on my face. The truth of the matter... the truth of the matter is that I'm starting to feel drained. She mentioned her senses- but it's my own that are causing me to feel this way.

It's like I can hear him screaming in my head.

Sometimes it's quiet- and sometimes it's like waves crashing on rocks, during a high tide on a full moon night. Like the sound of it is refracting through the darkness at louder intervals and it's almost skull splitting. I just hear him calling my name- over, and over, and over. Sometimes when I'm trying to be intimate with her it's so unbearable that I have to make an excuse as to why I no longer want to kiss her, or caress her skin. It's the loudest when I'm alone, though. When I'm out feeding and the night is still around me. When the streets are empty and I'm looking for the scent of vanilla in the air- preferably. Most nights I'll settle for whomever I come across, just so I can rush home to her and settle in her warm embrace. As of late I've nestled myself against her chest and asked her to hold my head there tightly- I've asked often enough now that she simply does it without my asking. When she does this her heartbeat drowns out his voice and I can relax, if only the slightest.

At first being just the two of us was fun, exhilarating, an adventure that I didn't want to end. Now it was work. Day in and day out I had to think of our next move. I had to take note of anything happening in the area that might indicate someone looking for her. I was growing more and more anxious by the day that something might happen. It seems I took Aldo's part in all of that, previously doing all of these things himself, for granted. Then there was the worry that was growing inside me for him. He would be the one who would have to answer for my wrong doings, if and when her father finds out. I tried not to imagine what would happen to him- because when I do I usually come to the conclusion that he will end up dead. I remind myself that it wasn't I who ran off, who pushed us away, who time and time again let us down and tore us apart.

"Why don't you come up to the room and we'll snuggle up in bed? You can order me some food and I'll make you eat some even though you don't like it..." She puts her hand on my shoulder and it makes me jump. It's so warm it feels like a flame. I've been so wrapped up in the sound of his voice that it's as if my body was anticipating his cold touch and hers was a shock in comparison. "Theo...?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just a bit in my head..."

"You've been like this a lot lately...." she says as she crosses her arms and I turn to catch the graceful- yet uncomfortable movement. She appears to be doubting herself, and I don't want her to ever feel that way about me.

"You're right- I'm sorry Wendy. I've- I've been planning our next trip. It's going to be a big one..." I say as I rub my eyes. "Let's go up to the room and get you that food. Barbecue? Chinese-"

"I'm feeling pizza tonight," she says with a chuckle as I put my arm over her shoulders and begin walking with her back to the room. "This trip- What makes it a "big one"..."