A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

Visiting Callie

"So how are you feeling honey?" Lena asked Callie as her and Stef had come to visit the girl. Sitting outside on a bench at the facilities park area it had been a few weeks since Callie's admittance and the two women could see improvement even if the girl was still very ill. Fortunately the program seemed to be working for her along with the medication and that was a giant relief to the entire family.

"I'm feeling ok." She said rather softly and looking to her fingers. Truth was she was feeling embarrassed about everything and couldn't seem to look either woman in the eye. Especially the blonde.

"That's good. It's a nice place Callie." Lena continued. "Really nice and mom and I felt they could help you the most. More then we ever could."

"Yeah. They help I guess."

Looking to her wife Lena glanced at her with a look almost encouraging her to say something to the girl. Anything for the blonde had remained quiet up until now. Not really on purpose so to say but she was observing her daughter and remaining cautious since they had bumped heads so much the last few months. Truth be told she felt horrible about not realizing her daughter was sick and was hoping this would help her as Lena smiled at the blonde once again nodding her head.

"So Cal everyone is good. Baby Stef is doing well in school and Andrew is growing fast. They both miss you. We all do love." Stef said as the girl still did not look at either woman.

"It's ok if you don't."

"What?"

"It's ok if none of you miss me. I'd understand why and I expect you to hate me."

"Honey none of us hate you. We could never ever hate you." Lena said grabbing the girls hands. "Mon and I both know you weren't well. We all do and just want you to get better. No one is angry, no one hates you, we all love you so much. Your daughters asks about you everyday single day honey and just wants you to be ok. The entire family does."

"I did a lot of stuff. I said a lot of stuff and I don't know why. I mean the doctor explains it but I don't know. None of it makes sense to me. I was horrible to both of you and if you throw me out with the garbage I understand. If you don't want me to be your daughter I understand too. Because I am garbage. Nothing more."

"Hey, don't you ever fucking talking that way. You hear me?" Stef said moving closer to the girl and holding her hand. "Look at me Cals. Look at me right now."

"I can't."

"Oh you can." Gently she lifted the girls face up to look right into her eyes as Callie was so embarrassed. "Sweetness look in my eyes babygirl. Come on love." Still unable to look the blonde in the eyes Stef gently cupped the girls cheek as her eyes finally glanced into her mothers. Stef could see how hard it was for her and how sad and scared she was. It was difficult but at least her and Lena had a better understanding of Callie's behavior and would continue to no matter how hard. "You are not garbage, you never were garbage and never will be garbage. I don't want you saying such things about yourself ever. What you have caused you to behave the way you did. That's all baby."

"But I'm not that way mom. And I feel gross about what I did. None of that was me and I don't remember alot of it. I don't and I just feel horrible about it all."

"It's ok if you don't remember it sweetheart.  It's just important for you to understand that what you have does not define who you are." Lena continued as tears fell from Callie's eyes. "You are a strong woman, a very strong woman and we are proud of you. What you are doing is not easy by any means and we are proud of you that you are sticking to this and are committed to getting better. That is what matters honey."

"No but I said alot of horrible things to both of you. I took out a restraining order so you couldn't see baby Stef. I don't know why I did that.  I cursed at you mom. I would never do that. Ever."

"I know sweetheart. Mama Lion and I are not angry. It's important for you to understand that.  And it's important for you to understand that we are with you and will continue to be. The entire family is my girl. I am not angry with you. Not at all. I swear it. Callie you are my daughter you must understand this and always will be and we will always take care of you. You understand this?"

With tears still falling from Callie's eyes Stef softly smiled at her continuing to wipe the girls tears. Her heart was breaking for Callie but at the same time she was relieved that her treatment was working.

"I love you more then life itself baby and I always will. I don't give a fuck about what happened the past few months. We only care about now. Right this moment is what we care about and we will never turn our back on you. You got me?"

"I'm sorry moms. I'm so sorry for what I did and for what happened. I really am. I can't forgive myself. I can't." By this time Callie was rather inconsolable as both women hugged her tightly.

"It's ok sweetheart. You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing at all. Mom and I are just glad you are ok. We are and we love you. We love you so much. Please know that." Lena said as Stef hugged her as well and tears began to fall down her face. It was so hard to say the least but they would continue to reassure the girl that they loved her no matter what.

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Poor Callie