A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

The Last

STEF POV

"You are welcome to stay the night Tu and I'm sorry all we have is the couch." I say as I pass her some blankets and a pillow for the pull out couch as she gently takes them from me. For the past hour Lena and I had a long conversation with her and of course my heart broken.  It really was for even if Tula had acted like an ass and had tried to come between my wife and I she didn't deserve what was happening to her one bit. No one deserved to be beaten like this and both Lena and I knew all too well what it did to you. Rarely did either of us talk about the abuse we suffered, Peaches rarely did and Miss Rose even Callie.  In some sense we had all gone through our version of it with the end result being the same.  It had shattered our confidence, our self worth and pushed all of us to the extreme. It had almost robbed us of our lives and the lives of our children. And that alone was sometimes a hard pill to swallow.

"Gracias Stefanie. I appreciate it. I will be out in the morning."  Taking a seat on the chair  I watch her struggle to sit on the couching knowing she is in more pain then she wants to admit.  Her eyes continue to avoid mine, probably from embarrassment as I can't help but scan her battered face. It was truly a mess and all I wanted to do was go to this woman's house and slit her neck. But I knew I couldn't do that, I knew very well I couldn't but I was fucking raging inside beyond words as Tula finally looks into my eyes. "I know you think I'm stupid, that I'm dumb for letting this happen."

"I don't think that Tu. Not at all. You don't deserve this no one does love. I just hate to see this shit happening to you. Because I just wanna go over there and kill her with my bare fucking ass hands...

"No. I know you do Stefanie. It's just like you to be so protective but I'll be ok.  I'll be fine.  I have a cousin in Tuijana.  I can go there. Or Nevada. I have family there."

"Yeah? You told me you had no family love." I say as she lets out a heavy sigh. "Don't lie Tu.  We have friends you can stay with.You can stay with Miss Rose. Her and Stuart have an extra bedroom. Tracey..." I say without thinking as her puffy eyes look to me. "Well she has her own place now so she's not staying with them anymore. But, they would have no issue letting you."

With the silence growing between us she looks at me once again.

"I never slept with Tracey." She admits as I look at her hard. "I just said it to be a mean ass.  I wasn't being right then. Or fare. I was jealous."

"Of what?" As she looks back at me I see a side of her that I rarely ever saw. Maybe it was only back in Chowchilla when she was vulnerable and it was something I never noticed. At times I just been too caught up in the jail bullshit to really see peoples feelings. And that was a blind spot of mine. "Jealous of Tracey?" I ask waiting for her to tell me the truth which I could see in her eyes.

"No. I was never jealous of Tracey or Callie or any of them. I'm not even jealous of Lena, Stefanie. I can't say. I should not have called you. I should go. I...." Trying to get up I gently grab her hand.

"Don't leave. Talk to me. Because we need to talk and clear up the bullshit Tu. Both of us because I played my part too." Nodding her head she sits back down.

"I didn't mean what I said to you at my apartment that night. I was mean and cold and harsh. I should not have called you a cripple. I'm sorry for that Stefanie and for telling Lena we fucked. It wasn't right of me to take advantage of you when I knew you weren't well at the time and didn't even remember who you were. I guess I was selfish and saw it as my chance to get you to be with me. I wanted to be your wife so bad always, and I said I understood but my heart didn't."

"Stefanie, I would never try anything again but you know I see your family, and your little girl who looks just like you and all your kids and grandkids. You know all your photos and things you have around, the home you and Lena made. It's hard not to feel, to fell like I missed out. You are so different then the Stefanie I knew in Chowchilla." She admits as I see tears rolling down her face as I'm not sure what to think as I let her continue seeing how hard it is for to admit any of this to me.

"You, I mean not different in a bad way, different in a good way. I'm glad you live a normal life, you know a straight life and that you are happy. I'm sorry for what I did I was selfish and upset, and embarrassed because I don't know we had something in there. At least I thought and I didn't know I was in love with you."

"I know Tu. And we did have something in Chowchilla and of course I had feelings for you. I didn't just fuck you in there. You know I wasn't like that."

"I know, but I was too young."

"Yes. Listen, I never set out to hurt you Tula. Never in a million years did I."

"I know and you told me from the beginning that I was too young and we wouldn't ever get married or be more. But my heart didn't wanna hear that shit." She laughs as I do as well.

"Look I get it Tu. The heart wants who it wants and at the time you know when we were locked up and my heart got stomped on you healed it. There's still gaps in my memory about shit but I remember. You made me laugh and smile and you gave me my confidence back. And I'm sure you felt hurt when I ended it.  I get that and...and I wanted you to find someone around your age. 15 years is alot Tu."

"I never cared how old you were."

"I know. But I did. And it was wrong of me to maybe even hang out with you back when you first got out. Maybe that was wrong, maybe I gave you false hopes and..

"No. No you didn't. You were being kind. You were helpful like always and I took advantage."

"Look, I've been disrespectful to my wife. I have and I should not have kept in contact with you. It wasn't right of me."

" I understand that. I understand that and I understand her. I get it."

"Listen you will always be my friend Tula. You will and love this cunt fact, Jacks, she lucky we ain't in jail. Because if we were I'd cut her fucking head off and feed it to the wolves. But, you know you deserve better then her fucking ass. You know this right?"

"Yes. It just happened so fast. Things...I thought she was different then what she is. And I didn't think I'd make this mistake again.I'm so stupid, she's into alot of shady shit Stefanie and I don't want no part of that. I don't want to be the fall girl again. That's how I got in trouble before."

"You don't have to. You don't have to have any fucking part of it.  Lena and I will take you down to see my brother tomorrow and you stay the fuck away from this cunt. Hear me? You gotta press charges love and get a restraining order. Look, at first I wasn't into doing shit the right way but if you wanna stay straight this is the way. You gotta press charges babe and stay the fuck away from her. Ok?"

"Ok. I will go in the morning. I will."

"Ok. Look if you need anything Lena and I are right there and help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen. Try to get some rest Tu ok?" I say getting up slowly as she smiles softly.

"Si. Thank you Stefanie and thank you wife too. Please."

"You're welcome. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She says as I walk off feeling completely fried. But I had no idea it would be one of the last conversations I'd ever have with Tula Gomez.