Sherl Shots

Now You're Gone

Now you're gone and I can't breathe. Chest heaving, throat burning. The cold air filters through my lungs, not staying long enough.

Now you're gone and my stomach is churning. The sight of crimson liquid splayed across grey making my intestines shrivel up.

Now you're gone and I reach for your wrist, praying I feel the familiar patter of your heartbeat. But it's silent and I swallow my tongue, garbled pleads escaping my numb lips.

Now you're gone and I'm sitting in your chair, wearing your shirt, crying into its sleeves. Everything reminds me of you, everything is you.

Now you're gone and my therapist is urging me to talk about you, saying it'll do me good. But I don't want it to do me good, I want it to do me disappeared.

Now you're gone and I visit your grave everyday, hoping for a miracle. Hoping you'll walk out of the murky black night, stand before me and smirk. Smirk like you do when you know you've done something wrong, or unacceptable. Smirk like you do when you know you've hurt me.

Now you're gone and I'm finally moving on. Met a nice girl named Mary, but sometimes I still miss you. Sometimes I hear your violin wailing. Beckoning me into the shadows where i think I see a glimpse of curls and a coat collar flipped up and I'll chase shadows until sunlight burns away the dark.

Now you're gone and I'm going to propose to the nice girl named Mary. She looks beautiful tonight, like she could steal my breath and not give a damn. I remember when you looked like that. When you stole my breath with no mercy. But now you're just a skeleton rotting inside a decomposing coffin.

Now you're gone and there's this waiter going on about wine. I look up and I realize and my breath hitches, eyes widen, tongue numbed and heart hammering.

Now you're back and I feel my blood boil, feel it burn me from the inside and all i can think of doing is wrap my fingers around your alabaster neck and squeeze till you can't breathe, just like i couldn't when you were gone.

Now you're back and your head hits the floor as I tackle you. Mary's trying to get me off you, you've got your hand on mine to stop me. Voices swirling around me in shock and panic. But I want to stop your heart, I want you to hurt like I did.

Now you're back and we're in another restaurant. You're being a cock. An utter cock. Mary's being quiet, watching me with wary eyes. Before I can stop myself, my fist connects with your jaw, feeling bone hit bone.

Now you're back and we're in another restaurant again. You're trying to explain how you did it, how brilliant you were. But I just want to know why you did it. Why you let me hit the ground and shatter. Why you let me pick myself and cut my hands in the process.

Now you're back and you've done it. I grab your collar, momentarily entertaining the idea of smashing my lips against yours and kissing you within an inch of your life. But I headbutt you instead, making your nose bleed. The coppery smell sending me back two years.

Now you're back and I hail a cab, ignoring you as you speak. Looking at you makes me feel like I've been dipped in every memory of you possible and wrung out, hung up to dry in the sun that is your eyes.

Now you're back and I want you gone.