A Thousand Years- Snowbarry Soulmate AU

Chapter 5

It was another week before Barry returned to college. His professors sent all work to him during that time and although he was not fainting anymore he felt no more ready to return to school than he was the day of the incident. 

It hadn't been easy and although his parents had tried to comfort him he spent most of his time in his room alone. He knew it wasn't healthy but nothing seemed to help. He was unrequited and there was nothing anyone could do to change that. All he'd ever wanted was a soulmate... even as a child he dreamt about having one and who was the missing part of him, who shared his mark. Now he knew that no one shared his mark, he was all alone and she would never love him back. 

It was hard but he finally managed to return. When he did, it seemed he wasn't as invisible as he used to be anymore. It appeared that everyone had heard about what happened to him so now every time he walked past there were whispers and gossip and laughter. It only made his stomach churn. Then again, his stomach seemed to be constantly churning now... he can't eat or drink... everything just tastes like ash in his mouth, like dirt. He felt so empty inside that he couldn't stomach anything let alone sleep at night.

He'd been tossing and turning every night for the past week and he knew he looked terrible. He was pale and pasty and all because of one girl. He couldn't believe that she had this much power over him but he loved her so so much. She was his one desire, his one wish... just her love and being without her was killing him inside like rot. Though he knew that was quite literal as well as emotional. 

He ended up sitting in the back of his Soulmate Science class, hiding from everyone and trying his best not to look Caitlin's way. But he just couldn't. She was beautiful and he loved her more than he could ever describe... his heart ached at the sight of her. Everything that he could never have right there in front of him... the thing that was killing him. Who knew that something as pure as love could be so deadly viscous?

When the lecture was over, he was making his way out the door when Professor Michaels called his name. 

"Barry... you know you're one of my top students, you know I'm very fond of you. Please, you look terrible. What's wrong?" the professor asked gravely as Barry approached his desk and sat down in the chair beside it at the professor's request. "Is it Miss Snow? I can see the way you look at her, such love in your eyes but also pain. I remember how you asked me to be paired with her then how you collapsed mere moments afterwards from your mark" he continued when he said nothing.

"She... she's my soulmate but I'm unrequited... she'll... she will never love me back" Barry replied, his voice cracking as tears formed in his eyes. "I love her so much and she'll never feel the same... I don't know what to do. My heart keeps on telling me to go after her, tell her how I feel but she doesn't even know my name. How can I ever approach her knowing that?" the tears beginning to stream down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry..." the professor replied, placing a comforting hand on his back.

"I'm dying... I can feel it. I can feel it rotting me from the inside, it just hurts so much. I can't eat, I can't drink and I can't sleep at night because of it. I feel nothing but pain wherever I go, whatever I do. I don't want to die..." Barry sobbed, his head in his hands.

"You need to go home and rest. It will only be worse here especially when she's here. I'm not an expert on these things but I have a very close friend, a doctor. A soulmate specialist doctor that deals with these kinds of things. I might not be able to help you but he can... I will call him and send him to see you as soon as I can. In the meantime, perhaps I can speak to Miss Snow..." he was about to continue but was quickly interrupted. 

"No, please don't tell her. The last thing I need is her sympathy... I don't want her to know and I don't want it on her conscience. I know she'd just feel bad and blame herself for it. But it's not her fault"

The professor nodded solemnly before helping him out of the chair to send him home.

...

True to his word, a doctor did show up at the Allen household the next day early in the morning. Although skeptical about having a stranger looking at their son at first, Barry's parents allowed the doctor to see him on the promise that he could save him or at very least help him. 

"I know this is hard, believe me, I've seen this enough times before to know how difficult this is for you, but this girl, Caitlin, tell me a little about her. What's she like? How did you meet? Things like that so I can see how your body reacts and how far along we are" the doctor asked after pulling out some kind of device to monitor his soulmate activity. 

Somehow it could detect whether he was bonded to her, his power to her and his feelings towards her. 

"Well, we both go to the same college. We only have Soulmate Science together though she studies biochemistry. She's a skeptic though and covers her marks- I always found that so interesting about her" he paused and sighed as he felt his heart ache. "We've never actually had... a real conversation though. I always wanted to talk to her but I had a crush on her and she had a boyfriend and I was too shy. Then one day in the library I saw her ID mark... it was the same as my soulmate mark... I realised that she wasn't just a crush but she was my soulmate.

Then I fell head over heels in love but I was terrified I was unrequited which I now know... is true. I finally got the courage to find out for certain so I showed her my mark in plain sight so I could see whether she recognised. That way if I was unrequited she wouldn't know and I wouldn't embarrass myself. Of course, when she didn't recognise it at all, I was devastated and... it broke my heart. I love her... but... I guess she will never love me back let alone know who I am or my name" his heart sunk at the words. 

"You are right... you clearly love this girl deeply. You seem to be quite far along the process" 

"What does that mean? You keep talking about a process without telling me what it means" Barry questioned. 

"I have one more thing that I really need to test before I can tell you that. I need to know whether you've bonded yourself to her because that could change everything" 

"You mean kill me faster" he replied bitterly.

"Yes... unfortunately. Please, just focus on her. Think about what she looks like, think about your most prominent memory of her and focus on her. See her in your mind's eye"

Barry closed his eyes and just like always he could almost see her in front of him. Though this time she was so clear that he could almost reach out and touch her. She was smiling and laughing, the breeze caressing her hair. She looked as beautiful as ever. 

"By The Evergreen, I've never seen readings like this before" the doctor muttered under his breath and Barry's eyes snapped open as he heard it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked slowly not wanting to give himself false hope.

"It means that... well, sometimes unrequited soulmate's can bond to the other person even if said other person cannot bond to them..."

"I know that"

"Yes, but what you might not know is that I discovered that unrequited soulmate's often can only bond partially rather than fully. Only a fraction of their power has been accessed. Well not only have you managed that you have fully bonded. Your connection to this girl... well, it's unprecedented. I haven't seen anything like it before" he continued. 

"What does that mean though? Am I... Am I going to die?" 

"I'm not sure... but I will be coming to check on you every day. You need rest and lots of it because I can tell you from experience that it's only going to get worse from here. You'll need your strength" he replied before a pregnant silence.

"Doctor... has anyone ever survived this?" Barry asked timidly.

"No... not on human record anyway" the doctor replied g