letter eight

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Dear my family,

I'm going to start off with saying.
I don't understand you.
That's fine.
You don't even understand me at times.
So, do I.
I'm not mad at that or at least anymore.

I know not everyone is perfect.
We're not machines, coded as one.
We are individuals and have different views.
There's nothing wrong with it.

The past is now sitting in picture frames.
We like to take a moment,
and let it all fade.
Disconnect ourselves from the cold reality.
Our minds plugged into our own little devices.
All I ever wanted was something to be a little numb.
And I guess so did you.

I know one thing for sure.
We like to separate ourselves from what truly matters.
Always trying to find something to fix.
But I hope you get out of that toxic state.
Especially since there's nothing broken to start with.

I love you all, although I don't articulate it well.
I know you probably won't believe me.
But deep in my heart, I do care.
Maybe too much at times.
I hope you understand that it hurts me more.
I shall end this with a good note.
I know we didn't get along well.
But I hope in the future we have much more better times.

Sincerely,
the girl who still doesn't understand herself

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