FILTHY CLAWS

Deep water.

You take one seashell; more than that-
You grab it; it won't go anywhere, but you still grab it.
With a simple motion of your hands,
You choke the last piece of life from that seashell.
         you overanalyse it.
It takes one pair of brown eyes to follow its curvature and to define it as
                                              "complex"
"If you listen carefully you can actually hear the sea" they say.
Water always seemed scary to me.
I grew up hating getting wet because of the way my ears got clogged everytime;
(they've always been problematic )
         This time was different
Even if I wanted to cry and scream from the top of my lungs,
      I had you by my side to take care of me-
By the time I woke up the pain was gone.
   We slept on a mat on the floor
I was really tired
You did your best to distract me from the ache that was coming from my right ear.
It's a different night so I name a different animal/
Yesterday I called you a lizard
       now you're a hippo.
  you gave me the most beautiful smile. ravishingly beautiful. you preferred being a lizard.
    I remember the first night we shared the same bed. You were a goose back then.
I got carried away and started thinking about the amazing day we had.
I'm still tired.
I wasn't prepared for deep water.
But everything is different now, isn't it?
I found you;
I found you and somehow your lips taste like cherries to me
      even if in reality they're only covered in salt and dirt.
I found you;
   You took my hand
You taught me not only how to float but also how to fearlessly jump.
I bring the seashell closer to my good ear.
(The right one is still clogged but it doesn't bother me anymore)
We sit peacefully on the sand and there's one thought I cannot push away.
"I had the strangest dream last night" escapes my mouth
   then I told you everything about it;
how we had our first child at 25 years old, a baby girl;
how we couldn't find her the right godparents;
the beautiful name i found for her.
you repeated it out loud a few times. you smiled. you loved it. butterflies filled my tummy.
I'm starting to think the seashell's broken. I shake it impatiently.
I love how we always talk about our future
You bring me hope.
Now everything's different
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.
I got mad on the way back home cause you couldn't sit next to me.
I'm even more tired.
Even if everyone needs space from time to time I hate it when we're apart cause you're my favourite person and I don't wanna miss out on anything and right now I fucking feel like I could travel the world bare feet with you.
It's 4am.
Maybe it's my ear that's broken; the one that I thought healthy was giving me a hard time hearing the sound of the sea.
I move the seashell-
I fall asleep in the car
My head is glued to the back of the front seat
    So that I can be closer to you.
I can tell by the way you laugh that I look like a crazy kiddo searching for her mommy
Maybe it's not quiet enough; maybe that's why I can't hear the sea.
Everyone heard it.
Is there something wrong with me?
I'm craving peaches
My thoughts are so twisted, I feel like bursting into tears everytime I interrupt you
I have problems with my memory
I can't hold an idea inside my head more than 15 seconds
When I woke up it started raining a bit
I took a photograph cause the raindrops looked like stars and I know how much you love the universe.
I feel like I'm on the top of the world.
When I'm far away from home, I only miss my butterfly stickers.
I remember thinking you looked like you had honey under your skin. You winked at me and I melted back into my sleep.
The sun was setting. 

I like to think the sky was pink.
I like to think I'm the best you ever had.
Never met someone so sweet.
You kissed me out of a sudden.
I forced myself not to bite your cherry lips.
I heard the waves crashing to the shore. The birds. The wind. I felt the heat. The joy. It was all in there. Everything/