recollection | ✓

ii.

beyond.

saturday movie night was a thing lisa could not afford to miss, it was a tradition ella clung onto and it wasn't something anybody could just let go of, despite the circumstances lisa was in with ella's older sister.

"so, which do you think is the best, the animated one or the live action?" lisa pushed her glasses back up with the back of her hand as she looked at the youngest kim.

"i don't want to sound like a film snob, but i think no one could really beat the original," ella sounded so serious, as if she was a critic beyond her age. "the live action's 'a whole new world' really tried its best, so i guess i could give credit for that."

"ah, i've taught you well, young padawan." lisa then pulled out a gummy worm from the bag and handed it to ella, "you deserve a gummy reward."

ella beamed and took it from her, she started chewing on it as she started to skip ahead of lisa, going back to where the old jeep was parked.

"that's the last one i'm giving you though, i don't want you to get too hyper, cassandra might kill me."

"nope, mom loves you too much." ella was now skipping in circles around her, which made her shake her head in disapproval. "you know, i've never really planned on telling you this or jennie, but mom really cried—like—she weeped, bawled her eyes out when she found out that you and jennie broke up."

this should have flattered lisa, but instead sadness was what came over her. she was quite speechless that ella was growing worried.

"i don't mean it in a bad way, i–i guess mom just didn't want it to happen, we really love you, you know?"

"well, i'm still here, it doesn't mean if jennie and i broke up that my relationship with you guys is over too. it isn't."

"see, that's why mom loves you..."

lisa opened the car door and let ella in, "hey, at least, there's only one kim who doesn't love me." she smiled sadly.

"unnie..."

lisa ruffled the younger girl's hair and went inside, "a'ight, kiddo, seatbelt on." she reminded as she buckled up herself.

"i don't think jen-unnie stopped loving you," ella frowned and leaned her head against the window.

this was the hardest part of a break-up, the people outside of the relationship get affected too. lisa didn't stop seeing her ex-girlfriend's family but that didn't mean they didn't feel as if lisa broke up with them too.

she wasn't the one who broke it up though, if she did she wouldn't be able to show her face to the family that kept her in their hearts quite dearly.

"ah, stop being sad now, ellie, maybe we're just not it for each other—" she smiled "—but don't mind that, we're going to eat burgers!" she cheered to at least get the younger one excited.

"unnie, i'll stop mentioning jennie after this question," ella was stubborn, she really was, a trademark of the kims. "if she wants to get back with you, will you let her?"

"not without giving her a hard time," lisa smiled upon hearing ella's giggle.

"she deserves it."

"oi, don't be too mean to your sister, i know you don't agree with the decision she made, but you still have to be there for her. she might never show it but she's having a hard time too. we've known each other years before we were even together, letting go of all of it was like stabbing yourself with a dull knife.

"relationships are complicated, ella, you see, people say love is a gamble, but that isn't the truth. the truth is relationship is a gamble, love is its prize.