From Ashes, Through the Fire (English) (From Ashes Vol.3)

Chapter 42 - We Were Both Wrong

Guy felt the heat of the fire on his skin, but that warmth still couldn't warm him. He wondered if the chill he felt was the glacial touch of death and if he would ever be able to stop shaking.
At least the bed he was lying on was soft and comfortable and being able to finally lay down was a huge relief for his tired and aching body. Riding to the healer's hut had been extremely tiring, and for a couple of times Guy had feared he was about to faint and fall off his horse.
He lay on his side staring into the fire, trying to regain his strength, but he didn't want to sleep, even though he felt the need for it. He began to cough and every cough made his chest ache and his eyes watered, leaving him even more tired and weak than before.
He fell asleep for a few minutes and when he opened his eyes Matilda was sitting next to the bed and staring at him.
The woman got up, picked up the wet clothes that Guy had dropped on the floor and she hanged them in a corner of the hut, then she returned to sit next to him.
"I see that at least you hadn't been as stupid as I expected and that you followed my advice."
Guy stared at her, irritated.
"I would appreciate a little more respect, witch."
Matilda burst out laughing.
"Despite the fever, you have some fighting spirit left, eh? Save it to deal with the disease, it will be useful." She put a hand on his forehead to feel the temperature and she shook her head. "You have to admit that going around the forest in the rain with such a high fever wasn't a particularly brilliant idea. I told you to stay, but you ran away like a fool. Intelligence wasn't required to work for the sheriff, was it?"
Guy wanted to reply in the same tome, but he felt too exhausted to fight. He wrapped the blanket around him with yet another shudder and he sighed.
"I had to see her... Maybe I'm destined to die and I needed to see her face once again..."
Matilda stared at him for a few seconds and Guy thought she would give him some other sarcastic comment, but she just nodded.
"Your wife?"
"Not yet."
"Well, then let's make you survive till the wedding." Matilda helped him sit down and she put a bowl full of hot liquid in his hand. "Drink it all and try to keep it down."
"What's this?" Guy asked, wary, sniffing that foul smelling liquid.
Matilda raised an eyebrow.
"Let's make one thing clear, Sir Black Knight: if you don't trust my abilities, there's the door. Since you crossed that threshold my only goal has become to make you recover, so it's only in your interest to do everything I tell you without protesting or doubting my intentions. If you want to die, very well, don't follow my advice and I certainly won't cry for you, but if you want to have some hope, you will have to trust me and follow my instructions. Clear?"
Guy nodded, then brought the bowl to his lips and he drank the contents trying to ignore the taste.
He put down the empty bowl and closed his eyes, trying to resist nausea. He thought he couldn't and he found himself hoping that at least Matilda had a bucket on hand because he wasn't sure he had the strength to get up and run out to throw up.
The healer put her hand on his shoulder in a gentle gesture and Guy opened his eyes, amazed.
"Breathe deeply and slowly," Matilda said. "Soon it will pass."
Gisborne obeyed her and in the meantime Matilda tucked the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders. She noticed the string he wore around his neck and she pulled it, finding the wooden tag that identified him as a member of Robin Hood's gang.
"So it's true. Apparently you've really changed or Robin wouldn't have accepted you among his men. But it's better if for the moment you take it off. I'll keep it safe for you, don't worry."
The woman slipped the string from his neck and she put the tag on the mantelpiece, then she returned to Guy.
"Did you know that it was me who helped his mother to give birth to Robin? It's really a pity that she didn't survive, she was such a beautiful and lively woman... Robin looks a lot like her. And I also helped when lady Marian, the daughter of the previous sheriff, was born."
Guy looked at her and Matilda noticed a flash of interest in his eyes.
"You know her, don't you? In fact, I think she was also there when your sheriff wanted to drown me as a witch." Guy looked away, blushing, and the woman giggled, noticing his embarrassment. "But let's leave such memories in the past. Would you rather tell me if lady Marian ended up marrying Robin? After the trick of your sheriff I preferred to stay in the forest almost all the time and those who need to come here usually don't really want to gossip."
"Marian will marry me," Guy said, with a slight smile. "As long as you're able to heal me."
"And yet Robin asked me to save you? The world is full of surprises." Matilda looked at him. "The nausea eased, didn't it?"
Guy stared at her, amazed.
"Yes."
"Told you. Now lean forward and take the blanket off your back."
"Why?"
"You still don't trust me?"
"I'm just curious," Guy replied, dropping the blanket.
"This ointment will help you breathe better. Oh!" Matilda said, interrupting herself with a start when she saw the scars on Guy's back. "What happened to you? Those look like scars left by many lashes!"
"And that's exactly what it looks like. Lashes. Many of them."
Matilda cautiously touched a scar, starting to apply the ointment. The wounds were healed, but the skin on Guy's back was still more sensitive and delicate than normal and probably it would remain like that forever.
"Am I hurting you?"
"No."
"Good. However it's a good sign."
"What?"
"If you survived this wounds it means you're strong." Matilda rubbed the ointment on his chest and she smiled at him. "Done. Now lie down and sleep. The worst is yet to come and you will need all your strength."
Guy lay down, wrapped himself in the blanket, but he didn't close his eyes.
"I can't."
The healer touched his forehead again.
"Have you already started raving? What does it mean that you can't sleep? It's not difficult: just close your eyes."
Guy stared at the flames.
"I don't want to."
"Why not?"
"Dreams come with sleep. I don't want to dream."
"Nightmares? I thought someone like you was used to them, given the nature of your job."
Guy laughed bitterly.
"I have a wide variety of nightmares to choose from, believe me," he shuddered. "But I can't stand the idea of seeing him die again."
Matilda immediately understood that he was referring to the child. She too had dreamed about that sad moment and she had woken up with her face wet with tears, but her work had accustomed her to often seeing death up close, and if the premature end of a child always caused her pain, it didn't upset her as much as it had happened to Gisborne. Matilda knew that human life could be very fragile and she had learned to accept it, but she understood the trauma suffered by her patient.
"Robin told me he wasn't your son."
"It's true. His mother had entrusted him to me because she thought he was still healthy, she asked me to save him..."
"You tried, you couldn't have done more for him, you have nothing to reproach yourself. Indeed, you did more than what would have been wise. That poor child has no reason to torment your dreams."
"He died calling his mother..." Guy whispered and Matilda wiped his tears with a gentle caress.
"From what you told me, probably that poor girl was already waiting for him in Heaven. You're a father, aren't you? Not that child's father, but you are. This is what torments you so much, you imagine your child in the place of that poor thing and you are terrified of losing him."
Guy nodded.
Matilda looked at him for a few moments, cooled his face with a wet towel and then she stroked his hair with a maternal gesture.
"Death can take anyone suddenly, we can't know who'll be next. Is your child healthy?"
Guy smiled.
"He is always full of energy."
"So don't worry about him when you have no reason to do it, and think about getting better. Right now you are the one who's closest to death, don't waste energy on unnecessary fears. If something should happen to any of your loved ones you will have plenty of time to cry, why sadden yourself in advance? Now sleep, you're exhausted and you need rest. I'll be here and I'll watch over your sleep, you don't have to worry about anything."
Guy closed his eyes, smiling.
"Do you know, witch? With all the nice words you had told me a few years ago, I didn't think you were capable of being kind too."
Matilda gave an ironic snort.
"Stop talking nonsense and sleep."
"I was thanking you." Guy said, sleepy.
"I know."
Matilda watched him giving up to sleep, then she smiled and she tucked the blanket.
I didn't think that someone who worked for the sheriff could have a heart, obviously we were both wrong.