Hidden Darkness

Unfazed

 
Ruth POV

Sitting alone outside was the best feeling to me. If I could, I would live outside and enjoy myself with everything around me. But of course I can't. Why, you might ask? One, because I'm only 15. Two, because of the voice in my head that sets me apart from others. That prevents me from being normal.

If people were in my situation, they'd probably name the voice. Befriend the voice. Trust the voice. But I know all too well that for me, that is impossible. We are too different. So instead of focussing on how being fated together made absolutely no sense, I focus on how I'll just call it.. it.

Currently I was sitting on a park bench, swinging my legs as I watched the leaves dance around in the wind, only to be let down to the ground. Letting my eyes drift off a little from the leaves, I saw the sun, peeking just over the distant hills.

It's getting dark. Not that I mind, but we have to be getting back. We don't want Mrs.Peach to be on our ass.

It was right about that. We did not want Mrs.Peach down our throat when we got back for being late. If I was late getting back to the orphanage she would either yell a sentence or two or preach to me about adolescents and how men would try to kidnap me. Not like they would have the chance to though because I'm much stronger, smarter, and advanced than any human. Sometimes I even wonder if I am human. But I've noticed that its not even half of me that's stronger, it's all of it.

Finally getting up from the bench, I took a detour and decided to walk through the woods to the orphanage. I didn't want to make any more contact with people than I had to. People's thougts of me were always negative or fearful but instead of them running away, they came up to me and treated me badly. Not that a blame them though because whenever I was in public, it would tend to act out and from the outside, it would look as if a was talking to my self, shaking uncontrollably, and hyperventilating. But on the inside, I would be fighting for control.

It always seemed as if it would always want to show what we can do or I quote 'what we are' for all to see. I would always feel dominance and power rolling off of it in waves.

Reaching the orphanage I went opened the door silently, knowing it was unlocked, and quietly scaled the stairs. I went directly to my room, knowing I could just piss in my bucket and put it in the toilet later. When the thought first came to it's mind, I thought it was disgusting but I couldn't risk getting caught out of my room to late and just took the mop bucket a found outside my door my and used it.

I'd decided not to change into my night gown just to get in the bed. I could just do all of my girl stuff in the morning but now, I really wanted to sleep. After sleeping, eating, and going out to the park that's a few blocks away, I was tired. In fact, i'm fudging exhausted. Although doctors could say I look strong and healthy, on the inside, my lazy ass is out of shape. I can't do anything and I find it unfair how it can to everything.

Then my thoughts went haywire. I'd always hated how my thoughts drifted so quickly, but once I thought about the unfairness of things, I thought about my parents and how I never knew anything about them. Everyone refused to tell me about them. It's as if they were never here because when I were to ask about them as a kid, I would always get "I don't know" or "You had parents?". I would always find it weird when they asked that. Everyone has parents, even if you are unsure.

Attempting to will my thoughts somewhere else, I felt myself slipping off into a semi-peaceful abyss of darkness. I was falling asleep.

At the time I was sitting on a bench at the park. There usually weren't as many hateful words thrown around and I could relax. It'd always seemed like a place I could clear my head. All of a sudden I felt a hot substance on my lap. Any other person would have screamed and hollered about it but I couldn't feel it. All I knew was that it was hot and that I didn't put it there. Looking up, I saw a girl that I've seen before with an empty coffee cup in her hand. Her name I could not remember but I knew she was a bitch.