My addiction started out small
It started as a friend
Asking me to try something new
Telling me it helps with the voices
It started as being happy
Soon I'd go from a half gram every few days
To an eight ball a day
I can't blame anyone
But myself
For how much I loved
The feeling of bliss
The drugs made me forget
How miserable I was
It made me forget
How much I wanted to die
The drugs took so much from me
It took time from my baby
It took my sanity
It took my life
I realized I needed help
I refused help
I knew I had to fix myself
But I didn't have the will to
Eventually the drugs
Took a toll
On my body
And created a hole
It created a hole
In my nose
It created a sadness
In my heart
I wish I didn't have an addiction
I wish I was smarter
I wish I didn't still want it
I'm only 90 days clean
Can I get through this?
Can I really stop myself from destroying my life?
Can I let it take my son away?
No, that's where I stopped myself
My son comes first
I was horrible
And I'm trying to make amends
To my son
To my husband
To my family
And to myself.
