Chapter 4

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For Better


Soon, I started gathering a decent following.

I found myself lifting my head up when I walked,

I smiled when I spoke.

I listened to more ambient music,

I did my hair, washed my face.

Wore more colors,

saw more colors.

When I slept, it wasn't just black.

I saw people,

things, ideas,

hopes, me.

I saw an adult me,

Content with the life she'd built

My exhaustion was different.

It wasn't just I couldn't sleep--

my brain still buzzed.

But this time,

with ideas and words.

Imagining how far I could go

how high I could jump

However, all my energy

was spent;

either on calls with Charlie,

or on plotting and writing.

Science.

Algebra Two.

Economics.

All Honors.

Took a back burner--

farther back than they'd been before.

To my defense,

english improved.

The content felt more...

Relatable,

useful,

personal, even.

When classes for next year

became available for choice,

I picked--

on my own,

for once.

I gave up all honors--

I hated it.

I didn't have time.

Rejoined creative writing,

a childish smile on my face.

And as I checked Advance Literature,

knowing fully,

that I whole-heartedly

wanted to do it.

I felt so free,

so whimsical.

I finally found my place.

Just like Shiloh.

In the bottom corner of the page,

there was a line.

Underneath it,

Parent Signature.

And,

I heavily considered

simply forging it,

but,

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