From England, With Love

On The Ward

I feel sick. Where is Ae?

After I was taken to the ward I didn't see Ae for a good hour. A nurse fussed over me, asking me questions about the incident and how I was feeling until I felt like a broken record. Now, I'm 'resting' in my hospital bed, dressed in a weird plastic nightgown and I feel like I'm going to throw up. My head doesn't hurt, though, and I owe that to the morphine being slowly released into my bloodstream.

I have to admit, a lot is on my mind; predominantly the kiss. I feel my cheeks burn just thinking about it, and press the backs of my hands to them in an attempt to cool down. All I know is that... I liked it. And I panicked, and now Ae must think I hate him. But I didn't know what to do! Especially when I felt his... you-know-what pressing against my leg. I freaked.

I curse my own lack of courage and try to turn my attention elsewhere. The walls are pale blue in this ward, and the boy opposite me is asleep. That's right. What time is it? It feels like a century ago I was walking to meet Ae by the park. I smile to myself. Earlier was fun - even if I did then get whacked in the head by a cricket ball, bleed everywhere, insult Ae and wind up in hospital.

After a few minutes, my eyelids start to droop, but I still feel nauseous. Part of me wants to stand up, but the other part of me feels sort of relaxed. My stomach rumbles.

Ah, so I don't feel sick – I'm just hungry.

I look around to see if there happens to be anything to eat nearby, but all that surrounds me is a partly drawn curtain and an empty armchair. Placing my head back on the pillow, I sigh.

I want Ae.

As if by magic, I hear the curtain rustle and two people appear next to me; my nurse, a short woman with a tight pony tail and kind eyes, and Ae. The expression on Ae's face makes me wish I could become part of this bed – he looks miserable, and I somehow feel as though I am to blame. He looks pale and his eyebrows are drawn tightly into a frown. Not an angry one, but one full of sadness that matches his bloodshot eyes.

Bloodshot eyes... has he been crying? I feel my heart sink.

"Ae," I smile, weakly, hoping he'll relax once he sees I'm okay.

"Pete, your friend here has been begging me to let him into the ward since you got here. I've had a word with the matron, and she's agreed to let him stay with you for tonight only. I'll see you tomorrow morning to see how you're doing, alright?" She says quietly, gesturing Ae to the armchair next to me.

"Thank you," I respond, sincerely, and watch her draw the curtains completely closed. As soon as the sound of her footsteps fade away, Ae springs up.

"Are you alright!?" He demands, his eyes moving frantically over the IV line in my hand and the hospital gown I'm wearing. His hand flies to the top of my head, but quickly he retracts it, a sheepish look on his face. He greatly resembles a fussy mother, and I can't help but lightly laugh.

"I'm fine, Ae, I promise. Just hungry." I say as calmly as I can.

"You're hungry? I'll be back – give me like, three seconds." Ae says quickly, turning on his heel. He bats the curtain out of the way an I hear him leave the ward. After a few minutes, the curtain is pulled back once more, and a cheese sandwich lands in my lap. Ae sinks into the chair, his cheeks red and his chest rising and falling heavily – he definitely ran.

I thank him as I remove the sandwich from the packaging. As I eat, I feel the nausea mostly ebb away. I assume it's just a symptom of concussion and resign myself to feeling slightly unwell. There's hardly anything I can do about it.

"I was so worried." Ae says, quietly. I look over at him and see none of the concern has shifted from his face. "If only I had brought you here earlier then you wouldn't have fainted and I wouldn't have..." He trails off, placing his head in his hands and balancing his elbows on his knees.

I'm quiet for a moment. The rest of the ward is silent, and I hope it's sleep induced.

"Kissed me?" I whisper, finishing his sentence. I bite my bottom lip, wondering if maybe it was too soon to mention. Ae looks up from the chair with a start as though he hadn't realised he was talking aloud. He shuffles in the chair and swallows.

"I wanted to apologise to you for that," he begins, casting his eyes to the floor. My heart skips a beat. A feeling dread and nausea, probably from the concussion, fills my stomach. He's about to say it was a mistake, he doesn't actually like me, he-

"I didn't consider your feelings towards me." He finishes, solemnly before raising his gaze to meet mine, his expression apologetic.

"What do you mean?" I ask, almost frantically. Usually Ae is so free with his words, but now he sounds vague, almost cryptic.

"I kissed you without knowing how you feel about me – and then when you... when you pushed me, it made it pretty clear that I'd overstepped the mark. So, I'm sorry." Ae's voice reduces to whisper, as though he's trying to avoid hearing his own words.

I scramble within my mind to find the right words to answer. I'm close to blurting out that I like him, but my rationality reminds me of where we are. The dread in the pit of my stomach rapidly transforms into excitement.

"I pushed you because I was overwhelmed... not because I didn't like it." I say carefully, fiddling with the corner of the thin sheet over my legs and looking away, watching Ae's expression swing from distraught to delighted in a matter of seconds.

"Wait, so, you're not angry at me?" He demands eagerly, and I wave a finger over my mouth to remind him to be quiet. "Sorry, sorry," he says quickly, "I'm just happy." He seats himself next to me on the bed, the sheets rustling loudly, and cups my face, causing me to flush.

"This might sound crazy and if you hate the idea, tell me to leave and I'll go." He says lowly, his eyes flickering between each of mine.

"W-What?" I stammer, taken by surprise.

"Pete, I want to be your boyfriend." He blurts out, quickly holding his breath as if bracing himself. For what? A slap? A million emotions run through me, creating a large pressure in my head that manifests as tears. They glide slowly down my face, yet, I smile.

"It's not crazy at all," I choke, "I accept."

Ae's mouth cracks into a smile more bright than the sun, a twinkle appearing in his eye and the tops of his ears flaring crimson. He strokes my hair before kissing my forehead.

"Then I guess... we're dating, right?" He says playfully, wiping the tears off my face with his thumb. "Stop that, no crying allowed," he adds, and I giggle with a sniff.

"I guess we are." I respond, somewhat in disbelief, my mind not fully registering what's going on. I'm in a hospital bed, at who knows what time, with a concussion, a cheese sandwich box in my lap, being asked out. You couldn't make it up.

Ae stays seated on the bed for a few minutes. We don't talk, just stare at each other and smile; our expressions say everything we need each other to know, and so find ourselves just enjoying each other's company in a new light.

It's only when I yawn that Ae snaps out of his trance-like state.

"Tired?" He asks, softly, sliding off the edge of the bed, tucking the sheet around my shoulders and putting the sandwich box on the floor.

I nod, drowsiness taking over me unexpectedly quickly. It's unsurprising, though, it's been an incredibly long day. And very eventful. Ae quietly brings the chair closer to the bed, settling himself into it and zipping up the jacket he's wearing. It looks to big for him, so I assume it's on loan from the hospital staff.

"Go to sleep," he urges, fiddling with my pillow and readjusting it.

I smile, too tired to properly respond, allowing my eyes to close and giving into that stinging sensation that accompanies exhaustion. I can vaguely hear the rustling of sheets from other beds, but the numbness in my limbs shuts it out, and soon I am asleep; the happiest I have felt for a long time.