this is my headcanon/imagine for what would happen if bucky and steve ended up on that cliff in vormir in endgame instead of nat and clint. i'm not completely happy with how i wrote this or the pacing but tbh i was just simping in my stevebucky feels so enjoy :)
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Why didn't Gamora warn them of this? It couldn't have slipped her mind. Or maybe she knew what was going to ensue. "What?" Bucky repeated. He stood face to face with the Red Skull, eyes wide, a tremble of anger in his voice. Steve knew Bucky heard Red Skull clearly the first time. Steve didn't want to believe it either.
Red Skull floated there silently, his ominous black cape blowing in the wind. Red Skull knew Bucky heard too.
"Bucky," Steve started, his eyes downcast. He couldn't make eye contact with Bucky. Not now.
"NO!" Bucky shouted, turning around with such force, Steve startled a little. "No, you don't GET to be the hero this time, Steve."
"Bucky." Steve raised his hand, outstretched to try and placate Bucky.
"You are NOT going to do this." Bucky pointed an accusing finger at Steve's chest and edged closer. Steve's foot edged backwards, distancing himself. His heart quickened at the sight of Bucky's temper. He hadn't seen that kind of fire since Brooklyn.
Bucky noticed Steve getting closer to the edge of the cliff and his face softened. "Steve," he said quietly, his eyes pleading. "Please. Let me do this. You owe me that."
"You've already fallen for me once, Buck. I can't lose you again. You don't know that kind of pain. I'm not strong enough to endure it again." Steve's voice was low, defeated in a way Bucky had never heard before. Grief plucked at his heartstrings. He couldn't stand the thought of Steve in pain over him. But he couldn't even imagine what he would do if he lost Steve.
"Yes, you are, Steve. You are strong enough. You're stronger than me. You have your friends, Steve. You have something to go back for. People need you. They need Captain America." Bucky stepped closer to Steve, pressing his right hand to Steve's chest and his left gripped Steve's wrist.
"Me? I only ever had you. What am I going to do when I lose that too? I'll have nothing. I'll be nothing." His voice shook and a single tear drop slid down Steve's face. He offered Steve a broken smile.
"No, no. Steve don't cry. Don't make this any harder than it has to be." His right hand went to the back of Steve's head and he pulled Steve into a hug. Steve sobbed into his chest, his tears staining the fabric of his coat. "I'm sorry," Bucky whispered into his ear.
"I am too," Steve murmured back.
At this, Bucky pulled back. "What? What are you so-"
Bucky was cut off as Steve launched him backwards towards the cliffs.
Bucky didn't even bother to protest, there was no time. He knew Steve would start sprinting towards the edge and Bucky leapt to catch Steve's ankle. He didn't care if he broke Steve's leg; it was better that Steve had a broken leg than Bucky had a broken heart.
"Buck, no!" Steve wrestled against Bucky's grip but Bucky wasn't letting go. A powerful arm wrapped around Steve's neck. "Bucky, please," Steve choked out.
Bucky just had to render Steve unconscious, then he could jump. Steve clawed at Bucky's arm, digging in, drawing blood. "Isn't it funny," Bucky gasped. "When you found me, we were fighting because I was trying to kill you. Now we're fighting because I'm trying to kill myself."
Bucky chuckled dryly and Steve choked out a "please, Buck." His eyes were starting to roll back in his head. "I love you, Stevie. I am so sorry." He felt Steve go limp in his arms and he gently set his body down. He stood there for a while, observing Steve. He finally looked at peace. Jaw slack, eyes fluttered shut. Bucky knew back in Brooklyn, Steve was religious. He didn't know if Steve still was.
Bucky never believed in that shit. He was too cynical. If there was a God out there, well, he was one mighty cruel god. And if there was one out there... well Bucky knew he wasn't going to the same place Steve would go to. Nah, Steve belongs up there with his Ma... and with Peggy. After what Bucky had committed in this life, he knew where he was going.
It's okay. If there was a lifetime of torture waiting for Bucky, at least he knew Steve was going to be alright.
He looked back up at Red Skull and nodded. "This better work," he growled. He walked to the edge and took one last look at Steve's unconscious body. "Til the end of the line, punk."
And he fell.
-
At first, Steve didn't know if he was having a nightmare or not. But then the foggy haze of sleep left him and he sat up. Cold water trickled down his back and surrounded him. He shivered.
But more persistent the freezing ache of the cold water was the sudden pang of loneliness he felt. No.
"NOOO!" Steve screamed. Over and over. Until he screamed himself hoarse, until he felt his vocal chords on the verge of shredding.
He brought his hands up to grip his hair but felt a sharp object in his palm. He opened his hand and looked down to see the soul stone there, its somber orange glow radiating in his hand.
It wasn't worth it. This wasn't worth the feeling like Steve was being torn into a million different pieces, in a million different directions.
This wasn't fair. The universe had just brought them back together. A brief, fleeting moment back in each other's arms. Now they were torn away again. Perhaps they were some ancient Greek tragedy, destined to be miserable. Eons from now, they'll tell the tale of Bucky and Steve, and what fools they were to have fallen for each other, all the pain they caused each other.
A man out of time, they called him. Except they didn't realize as long as he had Bucky, he was right where he needed to be. But now he had no one. What role did he have now? Before the war, he was Bucky's to take care of. Then he took care of Bucky during the war. After the ice, he had to rescue Bucky. And for a while, he was Bucky's home.
"Bring him back," Steve sobbed. If this was the way to save the world, why did he feel like he just lost it? He didn't care if they defeated Thanos anymore. Death would have been better than this pain clutching at his core. "Please bring him back," he begged.
But no one was there to hear his cries. He was utterly, desperately alone.
