How To Not Get The Girl

#13: Catfish Her Boyfriend

Home at last to my Xbox. I fired up Call of Duty, still out of breath from running all the way home due to embarrassment, and put on my headset when I noticed that SteamPricey had come online. "Sup dude," I greeted. I took a swig from the Coke can I found on my desk that was opened who-knows-when. Still tasted good though. I brought it with me and sat on the floor in front of my TV.

"Ah, nothing much bro. Just came back from football practice," SteamPricey responded in a voice that sounded oddly familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Football practice? What kind of gamer also plays football? I shrugged it off because, hey, that's none of my business. But as I started opening up a new game room, I couldn't help but keep thinking back to what he had said. I swear I've heard his voice before... And before I could think, I opened my stupid mouth and asked him what his name is.

"I'm Justin." I froze. It had to be Chelsea's Justin. And here I was playing video games with him and pretending to be his friend. Does this mean Chelsea's into gamers? Wait, does Chelsea even know about his double life?

Thank goodness he was dumber than I was in that moment and didn't recognize my voice. But then he asked me the dreaded question: "You?"

My heart was still racing, both from running home and from realizing that Chelsea's boyfriend and I had something in common, so I just spit out the first name that came to my head. "Pablo," I replied, hoping he didn't notice that I was lying through my teeth. Thankfully, my voice blended in with the sound of him clicking a bunch of buttons so I don't think my anxious tone went through.

"Oh, good. For a second I thought you were this geek from my school named Connor. You sound like him." I guess he wasn't dumb enough to not recognize my voice. But he was dumb enough to buy my lie, so does that cancel out?

I forced out a nervous laugh. "Uh, yeah. Wouldn't wanna be Connor." I fiddled nervously with my controller, wondering if I should change the subject.

I still heard the sound of buttons coming from Justin's side and then a thud that cut through the awkward silence. His frustrated voice crackled through. "Sorry dude. My controller is glitching out a little and I'm trying to fix it."

How do I respond to that? Do I make conversation with him? "So, uh, tell me more about this Connor kid." Way to blow my cover. But hey, I was curious.

"Oh, that douche is trying to steal my girlfriend. He tried out for the soccer team and somehow made it on, all to impress her." He was growing annoyed just from talking about me, but I still pushed it and asked him more about myself.

"Do you think he actually has a chance with her?"

"What? Hell no. The only thing he knows is how to not get a girl. He screwed up every chance he had to win her over. Maybe he'd have a chance when this dumbass controller works!" There was another thud, followed by a a few more. My face fell. That stung a little, but he was right. There was no way Chelsea would fall for me after everything I did to ruin her life. Justin's voice piped up again, this time sounding much happier. "Hey, my controller's finally working!"

I definitely didn't see that coming. "Guess Connor does have a chance, huh?" I asked jokingly.

He scoffed. "Yeah right. Whatever. It doesn't matter to me. If she leaves me for him, I got this other chick named Laurel to fall back on."

For the second time that day, everything in me froze (after nearly choking on my Coke, which didn't taste so good anymore, by the way). "Laurel?" I squeaked. Like, my sister, Laurel?

"Yeah, I think she's Connor's sister or something. I've been seeing her before school for a while now and damn, she's hot. Whenever we see each other she-"

I couldn't listen to this anymore. I was about to unplug my headset when Justin's voice chat through again. "Wait, are you ready to play now?"

My mind was in too many places right now and none of them were Call of Duty. "Actually, I need to go. I, um, have soccer practice." I realized what I did as soon as the words came out of my mouth.

"Soccer? Shit, you are Connor. I knew-!" I disconnected from my Xbox and cut Justin's increasingly angry voice off.

What the hell just happened?