Easier [Ashton Irwin]

19

Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go?
I don't wanna know, oh (I don't wanna know)

~~~

Sydney woke up to the constant tapping of feet on the tiles in the kitchen floor. Yawning as she clambered out of her bed, she made her way out of her bedroom, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to rid herself of the fatigue that was still settled deep in her bones. She winced as her feet hit the cold wooden floorboards of her living room.

In the kitchen, she could see Ashton pacing backwards and forwards rapidly, his hands gripping at the roots of his honey blond locks. His hazel eyes were glued to the old stained tiled floor in front of him as his mouth shaped silent words.

"Ashton?" Sydney asked quietly, careful as to not startle the man.

Ashton looked up, and Sydney took in his pitiful state. Dark bags hung underneath his eyes, and the creases in his skin were deeper than usual. He was frowning, the crease that had formed between his brows seemed like a permanent thing now. His was a tangled mess, evidence of the tossing and turning he had been doing during the night.

"Have you slept?"

Ashton shook his head. "I couldn't." His voice was scratchy, sounding as if someone had made him swallow a Brillo pad.

"Why not?" Sydney asked as she pulled out one of the stools that she had sat behind the counter that separated the kitchen and living room.

"I just—" He leant his elbows on top of the counter, his head in his hands and his fingers tugging at the roots of his curly locks. "I couldn't stop thinking, yanno? Every time I closed my eyes I could hear her voice in my head over and over, and it wasn't even anything specific. It was just meaningless words and things she had said. And then I swear I could feel her just— just there. I could feel her hands on my skin, Sydney and it wouldn't leave. Why the fuck won't it leave, Sydney. They need to go, and I—I—"

Sydney caught Ashton's hands that had previously been scratching at his bar arms. She bit down on her bottom lip as she examined the skin of his arms, stained red from the damage his nails had caused. The scratch marks raked down his arms, blood having been drawn in some places.

"Okay," Sydney murmured, breathing out deeply as she tried to plan out her next few actions. "I think..." She paused, considering her options. "I think that you should get in the shower and cool off — it might help get rid of her — and then you need to take a nap, because you cannot be losing out on sleep. Afterwards, if you're feeling up to it, we can all go out for a meal or something to take your mind off of everything." She smiled at him softly, before quickly adding in. "But that's only if you're feeling up to it, of course. You're not being forced into anything."

Ashton nodded. "Yeah." He breathed out, before slowly shuffling towards the bathroom.

~~~

Ashton yawned as he dragged himself out of bed, rubbing his eyes to rid them of the sleep that had gathered during the few very needed hours of shut-eye he had gained. He grabbed a t-shirt off the bedroom floor, throwing it on before leaving the room (he was already wearing sweatpants).

"Hey, Honey Bee." Sydney smiled at him from where she was sat on the sofa.

"Hi." He responded, quickly making himself a coffee in the kitchen before moving into the living room and sitting down beside the blonde girl.