Just A Handful O' Splatoon Skits

Goggles Finally Snaps: The Aftermath

It was only a few minutes after the Team Blue vs. X-Blood battle, and Team Blue had agreed to go to the Crust Bucket for a break. "Well that was a tough battle, wasn't it? It really got my ink pumping!" Goggles commented. "Yeah, it was..." Headphones replied hesitantly, sipping her Special Saver Latte. A short silence followed, soon to be broken by Goggles. "I gotta admit, Vintage was quite strong! He managed to pin me down and immobilize me! That really impressive, don'cha think?" Goggles suggested. "Sure, impressive..." Glasses mumbled, nibbling on his Crusty Seanwich. A much longer silence weighed on the group, weaving an unrelenting tension that clung to their minds. After a while, Goggles spoke up again. "Hey... you guys have been acting weird ever since that battle with the X-Blood. Are you okay? Is there something wrong that I've failed to pick up on?" he asked.

Glasses gripped his barely touched Crusty Seanwich, abruptly stood up, and slammed his free hand on the table, catching everyone, including Goggles, off guard. "Yes! There is something wrong! Terribly wrong!" Glasses exclaimed. "What the hell happened to you with Vintage!? What kind of demon suddenly possessed you and made you do what you did!!??" Glasses accused. "Ehhh!? What did I do!?" Goggles questioned in a panicked tone. "Oh I don't know, slam an Inkling's head into a wall to the point where they were bleeding out ink? Splatting that same Inkling with your bare hands!? Well, technically you used your foot... Or maybe it's because you pulled my pants down after our victory! Who shelling knows!" Glasses retorted sarcastically, sitting back down with a huff. Goggles sat there in shock. "I did that?" he asked rhetorically. "You seriously don't remember!?" Glasses and Headphones exclaimed in unison. "I knew it... he was possessed by a demon! Quick, Headphones, grab some holy water!" Glasses commanded. "Ehhh? And where am I supposed to get that?" Headphones interrogated. "I don't know, grab an empty cup, fill it with water from a nearby fountain, and just call that holy water and splash it onto Goggles' face!" Glasses grumbled. "But won't that splat him?" Headphones reasoned. Glasses stopped in his tracks. "Oh," was all he said.

During their swabble, Goggles frantically racked his brain for memory of that incident. "AH! NOW I REMEMBER!!" Goggles exclaimed. Glasses and Headphones stopped to look at him. "You do?!" they blurted in unison. "Yeah... I guess I did go a little overboard..." Goggles chuckled nervously. "A little my tentacle! You splatted him without using a weapon! No ink or weapon, just brute strength! How are you even that strong!?" Headphones questioned rhetorically. Glasses then remembered something. "Um... Headphones, remember the times was able to pick up two Ballers stacked upon each other?" Glasses reminded her. "Oh... w-well that still doesn't explain anything! Lifting heavy things are one thing, crushing them to bits is a whole other story!" Headphones claimed. "Look, how about we just let it go?" Bobble Hat spoke. "Oh... Bobble... you haven't spoken in a while..." Glasses aforementioned. She still kept her signature smile, but her eyebrows were furrowed. "Goggles will talk to us when he can find the right words to express it. He can also apologize to Vintage if we ever cross paths again; once he's explained himself, of course. For now, let's quit freaking out over the whole thing," she suggested in a serious tone. "Order up! One Triple-Fried Galactic Shwaffle and one Sub-Up Juice!" Crusty Sean suddenly announced, temporarily breaking the serious atmosphere. "Oh! The Shwaffle is for me!" Goggles remembered, going up to the service window to pick up the meal. "And the Sub-Up is mine!" Bobble announced, following Goggles to the window to get her drink. They returned and started consuming their products.

"Anyhow, I'm not saying we should just brush it over. Goggles will still be questioned and held responsible for his actions. I'm just saying that we should all calm down. We're all asking the same question: Why? Why did he do that? The answer will come if we settle down and think," Bobble stated, taking a sip from her juice. The rest of the team looked at her in surprise. I've never heard Bobble talk in such a way before, Glasses thought. "My, my~ Those are some big words Bobble-chan~" a voice called in a sing-song manner. "Ah! Aloha! What are you doing here?" Goggles piped up, still chewing his food while doing so. "Idiot! Don't eat with your mouth full!" Glasses scolded. "Well, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation and since it piqued my interest, I decided to come over!" Aloha replied simply. His face then darkened slightly. "Of course, that's not the only reason why I'm here," he stated.

"I heard a good chunk of your conversation and I'm wondering the same thing. Mostly the part where you question Goggles' strength. But I'm also curious as to the reason why," Aloha began. He pulled out his SquidPhone and pulled up a video; the live stream from the X-Blood battle. "However, I think we've already found it~" Aloha claimed confidently. "Now let's just--" he rewinded the timeline of the video to a specific time frame and showed the Blue Team the footage. "There!" Aloha announced.

~~~

A/N: You can skip this if you want. I basically just copied and pasted the paragraphs from the previous part.

~~~

He readied his Ballpoint Splatling and pointed it at Goggles' head. "So, do you have any last words before I splat you?" Vintage interrogated. Silence was present, and just when Vintage was about to make a taunting statement again, Goggles started to chuckle. "Eh?" Vintage sounded. "Huh? What's happenin' down there? Let's get a closer look at what they're saying! Yo, cameraman! Zoom in on that!" Pearl commanded. The jellyfish complied and zoomed in on the pair, making sure they're capturing every moment live. "You know... you're probably the worst opponent I've fought against, Vintage," Goggles began. "Excuse me?" Vintage questioned. "I've battled against people like you. A good many of my most memorable opponents had your kind of attitude. Yet, every time it's always the same. Despite defeating a dozen powerful enemies, people still think they can defeat us easily. You, by far, have been an overinflated example of that. Is it because we're quote-unquote "idiots?" Is it because we're C-rank? Well..." Goggles trailed off, clutching at Vintage's Ballpoint Splatling, ripping it out of his hands and throwing it across the map; all while laying down and with a foot pressing down on his chest. "Wh-What in the--!?" Vintage cried, clearly flustered. "W... Wow! Goggles threw Vintage's Splatling away just like that!" Marina exclaimed. "Maybe it's 'cause nobody bothered to register the fact that a bunch of kids defeated some kings!" Goggles yelled with a maniacal smile plastered onto his face, grabbing Vintage by the ankle and hurling him into a nearby wall. "WOAH! Goggles just... lobbed Vintage into a wall!" Pearl shouted. Goggles got up and cracked his neck, smiling "happily."

"All this time, I've been keeping my cool. I've kept the anger from coming loose, always acting shamelessly positive and just trying to have fun, not letting the arrogance get to me. But as anyone knows, no matter how long you keep up the facade, you're eventually going to SNAP, no matter how patient you are," Goggles piped in a cheerful tone, twitching on the "snap." Where... where did this menacing aura come from!? But he's smiling? Why am I shaking? Is this... fear? Vintage thought, staggering to his feet as he tried to recover from the throw. "I really don't want to do this... but I feel like I'm going to go insane if I don't," Goggles growled, rushing at Vintage. He grabbed him by the head and smashed him into the wall several times until ink started coming out of his head. He then started spinning him 'round and around until finally releasing him face-first into the ground. Goggles then crouched down and grabbed the back of Vintage's head again, bringing Vintage's ear near his mouth. He whispered something long and inaudible into his ear. He let go, lifting his foot and violently stomping on Vintage's head to finish him off as Vintage exploded into pale blue ink, his squid-angel flying away. "V-V-V-Vintage h-has b-b-been... s-splatted," Marina stammered.

~~~

Aloha paused the video and turned his phone off, putting it back in his shirt pocket. "So that's what happened... I remember now," Goggles said. Everyone looked at him expectantly. "I guess I was just so fed up by Vintage's arrogance that I just... well, 'snapped' like in the video," he explained quite simply. "But it wasn't just his arrogance, wasn't it? You said you have 'battled against people like him before' and that your 'most memorable opponents had his kind of attitude,'" Aloha quoted. "Yeah! People like Rider, Army, you--" "Hey!" "--Mask, Skull, and even Emperor had a similar mindset! They always thought that they were better than everyone else..." Goggles paused. "And I guess that made me mad," he stated. "But I didn't want to get angry! I always want to see the good in everyone, so I just stayed optimistic! I thought things like 'Hey, Rider's kinda proof that there's some sympathy below all that ego!' and 'Skull is having more fun with battles now.' and so on so forth," Goggles rambled. "So, that fiasco was just the result of suppressing your emotions for so long?" Headphones asked. "You could say it like that, Goggles replied.

"Yikes. You must've been really angry, huh?" Aloha chuckled nervously. "Yeah!" Goggles laughed. "Well, that clears up a lot of things. And gives me a mental note to be more humble when Goggles is around," Aloha sighed. "Not just when I'm around! All the time!" Goggles piped. "Okay, okay, sure. Alrighty, hope you have a blast for the rest of your day!" Aloha chimed, winking at the group. "You too!" Goggles replied.