No Control // Wolfstar

Twenty

Remus lifts his arms high, letting the wind hit his face freely. The grounds of Hogwarts is filled with numerous flowers blossoming, and the Great Lake is a mesmerizing shade of purple. With a kick in power, Remus stumbles forwards, gripping the dragon's scaly neck.

The dragon's head turns back to face him, calling, "Remus!"

"What?" he replies.

"Remus!"

"What?"

"Remus!"

Remus stirs, rubbing his eyes confusedly. With another push to his side, he opens his eyes and jumps at the sight of Sirius beside his bed. "Mother of Mandrakes!" he gasps, clutching his heart. "Sirius? What are you doing?"

"Get dressed, I've got to show you something."

Remus sits up groggily, stretching his exhausted limbs. He reaches over, shakily picking up his clock. The tiny hand points to the right and Remus groans. "It's two-thirty am. And we have double Charms in the morning!" Only two hours ago had they just finished scrubbing the floors of the Prefect's Lavatory with toothbrushes per McGonagall's request.

"I can't hear you over the sound of me not caring," Sirius whispers from the door.

Remus hastily shoves on a pair of socks, stuffing his feet into a pair of boots whilst layering up with a navy sweatshirt and his thick plum colored cloak.

"Nice cloak," Sirius snickers when Remus joins him.

"I swear if this is something stupid I'm going to punt you off of the Owlery."

"It's not."

Remus doesn't ask anymore questions, allowing Sirius to lead him through the castle all the way through the Viaduct Courtyard. He observes Sirius in the pale light - he was smiling excitedly. It looked good on him. He never wore it often. His teeth were pearly and straight, accentuating the softness in his facial features. A breeze crawls its way up Remus' exposed hand and he plants his feet firmly in the ground.

"Where are we going?" Remus asks.

"The Forbidden Forest," Sirius answers.

"What? No - I don't want to go in there."

"Nothing will happen to you."

"Sirius I'm going back to bed."

Sirius intertwines his fingers with Remus', gently pulling him closer. "Do you trust me?"

Remus emits a shaky breath, a small puff of cold air releasing from his mouth. "I do."

His boot crunches the snow beneath laying on the steps, leaving a trail of size twelve footprints all the way down to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. A half moon floats high above the treetops. Stars litter the sky, twinkling with varying brightness against the vast navy canvas. Sirius guides him between the snowcapped evergreen trees before he can protest, clenching his hand tightly in his own. Owls hoot in the distance and critters lurk in the shadows prompting Remus to cling tightly behind Sirius' lead.

"Sirius," Remus whispers. His eyes dart side to side frenetically, keeping look out for anything that could jump out at them. "Can you tell me what we're doing now?"

Sirius doesn't answer, only slowing their pace.

Remus jerks at the slightest noise, holding back a scream when a branch scrapes across his calf.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Sirius says.

"Oh yeah, I love cannibalistic creatures waiting for two stupid teenagers to walk through the forest at three in the morning," Remus replies sassily.

Sirius chuckles, tugging Remus's arm so they're walking side by side. "The forest is incredibly misunderstood. Have you ever taken the time to really look at it?"

"Does it seem like I have?"

Sirius sweeps his bare hand over a fallen tree, dusting away the snow. He unties his cloak, folding it over the wood. Remus takes a seat beside him, hugging his own cloak closer for warmth. He licks his chapping lips, shaking his foot uneasily on the ground.

Sirius rests his hand over Remus' knee, calming him. "Close your eyes." Remus does so apprehensively. "Listen."

Remus scrunches his eyes tighter, continuing as Sirius asks. Crickets emit a soft chirping noise that surrounds them. The ambient sound is relaxing, diluted by the the howls of the wind which brushes past his face with a delicate touch. The usual bitterness to its brisk passing is nowhere to be found. Instead, it kisses his rosy cheeks and ruffles through his hair. It carries an earthly aroma to his nostrils, rustling the leaves behind him joyously. The chilling atmosphere is serene. And the haunting fear of the unknown is now greeting him as a friend, rather than a foe.

Remus opens his eyes, drifting them upwards at the moon. Its glow weaves through the treetops in fragments - mellow rays of iridescent, glittering whitish-blue. He extends his arm curiously, letting the transparency shine on his numbing hand.

"Scary still?" Sirius asks leaning back on his hands.

Remus shakes his head, twisting his hand under the moonlight.

"You'd never think a place called the Forbidden Forest could be so magnificent. The stigma created from words scares people away when the reality is that it's just trying to survive. Kind of like people."

Remus faces Sirius in perplexity. Since he was eleven, the forest was nothing but a nightmare he was forced to live through during each full moon; he despised it, and everything in it, with a burning hatred. Yet, one hour with Sirius was enough to dissipate the feeling entirely.

Sirius' hand cups around Remus' neck, drawing his face down to his. Their lips meet - a burst of warmth coursing through their veins. The world spins around in a whirlwind until it's just them: the noises halt to a silence, the wind is paralyzed in time, and everything is still. Absolutely still.

"Sirius," Remus breathes. He rests his forehead against Sirius', refusing to open his eyes. His hand shakes against Sirius' cheek, the words fall out of his mouth before he can stop them: "I'm a werewolf."

No words are spoken. Remus' heart drops to his stomach, the pain of knowing he is unable to take back the words.

"I know," Sirius admits.

The world resumes as it was.

Noises of the forest come crashing like a wave, pulling Remus back into reality.

Remus' eyes snap open. "Y-you know?"

"I know."

"But -" Remus holds Sirius' head closely, boring his eyes into the latter's. "It's you." He drops his hands, baffled. "How could I not see it before? Of course it's you!"

"What's me?"

"You're Snuffles..." Sirius can't help but roll his eyes at the ridiculous nickname Peter had given him. "The gash at the beginning of the year was from me. That night...You've known this entire time, haven't you? How long have you known?"

"I've known for a while now. Sometime last year I ran into a stag - which turns out to be James - and so I followed it which led me to the Shrieking Shack and then you."

"And you just never said anything about it?"

"It's not my secret to know. I was never going to say anything until you told me yourself."

"How could you know and still - you don't hate me?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

Remus scoffs, leaning over and burying his face in his palms. "I'm a monster, Sirius."

Sirius runs his thumb along the scratch on Remus' chin. "No, you're too good for this world Remus." His voice drifts off, unsure of the words he wants to say. "It doesn't matter that you're a werewolf. It matters that you act as the person you are on the inside and it will show on the outside."