Me and Anni-Frid

Night Changes

July 2nd, 1972
8:30 pm

By this time everyone had left the house and it was just Benny, Frida, and I. I had helped clean up a bit, and I went to the kitchen to help Frida clean up some more. "Roxanne, there is no need helping me, just go brush your teeth and put on your pajamas, but come back down please." She said not even looking at me. I was afraid I made her mad because of the tone of voice she had and she didn't even look at me. Maybe she is just tired, I thought. Just in case, though, I did as she said and went upstairs. First I put on my button down pajamas and brushed my hair. I looked in the mirror thinking, my hair looks like a rat chewed the ends of it and Frida's looks like it was trimmed from the hands of Jesus. I sighed as I pulled it over my left shoulder and braided it down the front of me. It was easy to do, it didn't look too bad, and it was quick. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I then put on my slippers and headed downstairs and walked in the kitchen.

"Frida are you sure you don't need help?" I asked.

"No thank you, go sit down in the living room," she said sounding extra stern. I was a bit afraid, I didn't think I did anything wrong, maybe it was just her.

"Frida," I said walking up to her. "Is everything okay?" I then realized she was acting weird after the phone call she had received. "Was it about the phone call?"

She breathed deeply and put down the things in her hands. She turned around and she looked as if she had been crying. "Baby," She said to me. She came over and hugged me. "Do you wanna stay here with me and Benny, or would you rather go someplace else?"

I got really afraid I was going to loose her and Benny, the two people I loved the most in this world. "I would love to stay here with you, but if I slow you down or anything, I am willing to leave." I breathed in deeply into her shoulder. She smelled like perfume, the sweet flowery kind with a hint of peach.

"There is some news." She said pulling away and looking into my eyes. "I don't know if you are going to be able to stay here. See, the government called and explained that if you're father is able to take care of you," tears came rolling down her cheeks and pretty soon I started to cry too. She sniffed and breathed unsteadily. "We can't keep you," she cried and wiped the tears off my face. "But it's also up to you, so," she said sobbing, "You can choose and do whatever you want, I totally support you, but I want you to know that I love you no matter what you choose." She cried and turned around with her hand under her nose and got a tissue.

"Mom," I said. I completely lost control of my mind, I was speaking from my heart. I was so confused but I just continued, "I will do anything to stay with you, and I love you so much," I said walking over to her and hugging her. I was crying as much as she was, but I never knew how much she actually cared.

"Come on, let's go watch a movie. You're choice," she said trying to calm down. We walked to the living room and cuddled on the couch.

"Frida I really think you should choose."

"Okay," she said sticking a movie in the television set. We cuddled on the couch, and I wasn't sure where Benny was, probably in the shower. After I while I fell asleep, along with Frida. I was sleeping with my head on her chest when I felt her move under me and I woke up. I looked up to see Benny waking Frida up. When she woke up, Benny turned on the lights and Frida looked at me. Her eyes were bright green and the most beautiful shade of it. She was holding on to Benny's hand, but let go to come to me and give me a hug. "Do you wanna sleep with Benny and I?" She asked still hugging me.

"How could I pass up hours of cuddles from you and Benny?" I asked smiling. "Seriously you two give the best cuddles," I said smiling.

"Come on princess, let's go to sleep," she said wrapping her arm around me and walking upstairs. I felt special, I really think they love me. We got upstairs and laid in bed, Benny on one side of me and Frida on the other. All three of us were cuddled together and slowly drifted off...

I walked home from the park and came home. The house looked different— there was a high porch that looked like if you fell you'd die. Benny and Frida randomly came out and both gave me a hug, but then brought me over the the edge of the porch... they let go of me and realized what they were doing, but I lost my balance and fell backwards off the porch....

I woke up and I was breathing hard and shaking. I was so close to Benny that I was practically laying on top of him. Frida was only a few centimeters away from me, but Benny must have felt me wake up, and I noticed how much I was holding on to him and released my grip. He looked at me and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Just a bad dream," I said looking at him.

"Do you wanna go down and get a drink of water or something?" He asked brushing the hair off my face. "I know Frida is really good with nightmares, but it doesn't look like she's waking up soon," he whispered. It was 4:00 am and too early to wake up. I laughed a little looking at Frida, sleeping like a rock.

"Yeah, a glass of water sounds good," I said and we both got up and went downstairs.

"Sit down I can get it for you," He said as he poured two glasses of water and at across from me. I took a sip from my glass and Benny said, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," I said my face getting red. I loved Benny but if there was something wrong I'd rather tell Frida. "I just had a nightmare," I said and sipped some water. "Actually, I want to know when we are going to have to see who gets to keep me," I said clenching my jaw.

"Tomorrow afternoon, at two," he said looking down at his glass.

"Oh," I said frowning. "Benny?" I asked. "Do you and Frida really want me here?"

Benny paused. "To be honest, I thought I wouldn't want you here but now I ask myself how I went life without you." I smiled at him and was happy with what he said. I wasn't expecting it honestly, but I was gonna try to do everything I can to stay.