Being nice won't get me anywhere.
I learned this after years of humiliation, indignity, and shame.
Some 'wise' person told me, when in pain, sadness or sorrow. Just smile, and it will go away.
To smile when you are in pain, to always lends the others your own hand, to make them feel okay to be there for them and to please them. To smile when you are hurt by the people you cherish, and say "It's okay, you have it rough"
NO IT IS NOT OKAY YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS IT ROUGH.
Don't get angry, don't upset them, don't tell them how you really feel or they will keep their distances from you.
Smile.....keep smiling. Yes, it's easy, isn't it? it's so easy to fake a smile when you kept doing it for years. I don't even know if I would ever smile genuinely....
Am I running out of fuel now? Do I need to get pills of joy somewhere?
My mind is absent,
My smile is fake,
being played like a pawn, I can't seem to prevent,
My life is at stake,
I'm in constant worry,
My smile is fake and empty, my heart is too heavy.
I'm downing....I'm drowning......I'm drowning.
The chain is too heavy,
It's chaining me down, where I can never rise again.
I can no longer fake a smile again.
YOU ARE READING
To Rise or Fall
RandomA Journal of an introvert girl, a way of catharsis to her mind and soul. To rise and reach her salvation or to fall and be drowned by the sea of loathing. PS: I don't own the cover
