He Dominates [BTS Fanfiction] √

S P E C I A L C H A P T E R iii

Special Chapter

I was never the dramatic one, never was the emotional one even if I was already being eaten up by the waves of my emotions. Si Kuya Yoongi lang naman talaga, bukod sa mga magulang ko, ang talagang pinayagan kong magkaroon ng access na makita ang totoong nararamdaman ko. It had been long since I started accepting within myself that with him, for him, I was vulnerable.

Siya iyong taong malayang nakikita kung paano kong mahinang hinaharap iyong mga gulong idinudulot sa akin ng mga nararamdaman ko kaya kahit na pinipigilan ko mang hindi magdamdam ay hindi ko pa rin napigilang tuluyang mag-breakdown sa harap niya.

It would only take soft stares from his beautiful pair of kitten eyes before I finally gave in, caving into the comfortable bubble of his presence.

I sobbed loudly, my fingers clutching tightly at the soft fabric of his thin sweater as he carefully caged me in his arms. Mas naiyak pa ako nang malanghap ko ang pamilyar niyang bango, nagtulak iyon para mas manghina ako.

I didn't want to come off as a mood ruiner today, everyone was too happy for the couple, but what could I do? I wanted to be happy for them only if the past where I lost a very precious part of me wasn't biting back at me, sending me indescribable pain inside. All over again.

This had actually become an unending cycle for me. Makakalabas pa ba ako?

"Baby… you have to tell me what's wrong?" Kuya Yoongi's raspy yet soft voice asked me while he ran smooth caresses on my back. He let me wet his shirt with my tears as I tried so hard to muffle my cries against his chest.

Nakakahiyang malaman ng mga kaibigan namin kung bakit ako umiiyak. Of course, with all the strength and joy I had showed them, they would really think that I had already get past the most painful part of my life when in fact, it was something I couldn't even get over with.

Paulit-ulit akong dinadalaw ng pagkakamaling nagawa ko noon, paulit-ulit akong sinasaktan ng nakaraan sa pagpapa-alala sa akin ng kung anong nawala sa akin… sa amin.

I wasn't also disregarding Kuya Yoongi's emotions here because I also knew how hard he was trying to move on and forget about it but not me, I couldn't move on, let alone forget. At ngayong nakikita ko kung paanong nagsasaya ang lahat dahil sa parehong bagay na hindi ko kailanman nagawang pahalagahan, sobra-sobra akong nasasaktan.

A lot of 'what ifs' were flooding my mind, sending a lot of 'what could have beens' to my heart.

What if I wasn't a careless mess before, then we could have been playing with our little Luna now… 'what ifs' and 'what could have beens' that were so painful to think about.

"Y-Yoongi…"

I sniffed loudly, my heart beating painfully when I heard that familiar voice. Mas pinasakit noon ang puso ko dahil nakatatak na sa isipan ko ang masayang mukha niya kanina habang excited na ibinabalita sa aming lahat ang tungkol sa pinaka-highlight ng simpleng pagtitipon naming ito.

Ate Jecky was such a very kind friend, she was that kind of friend who treasured people around her like they were the only thing she had in her life. Literally, it really was. Kuya Taehyung was so lucky to have her to be honest, Ate Jecky might lack on some aspects in life such as wealth, that was just a small aspect compared to what she really had in her heart. She had a big heart, as big as a whole world where she stored the people she loved and all the good memories with them.

She had a world much more beautiful than the world we lived in.

Hindi lang si Kuya Taehyung ang masuwerteng tao sa buhay niya, ako, si Kuya Yoongi at kaming mga kaibigan niya ay sobrang suwerte dahil pinayagan niya kaming manatili sa maliit niyang mundo. Kaya ngayong nasasaktan ako dahil sa kasiyahan niya, hindi ko mapigilang isipin kung deserving ba ako sa buhay niya.