SEVENTEEN

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Trigger Warning: Panic attacks, discussion of death

Hugo awoke the next morning to the sound of Renee's voice. "What do you mean 'he had a nightmare'? Did he wake you up?" she asked.

"No," Stefan rumbled above him. Hugo kept stock still, his breathing even. "I was already awake. I just heard him out here crying."

Renee cursed. "He looked fine last night," she muttered. And he had been, but his mind decided to screw him over while he slept. "Look, I have to go or I'm going to be late for work. Look after him, alright?"

"Of course." The door shut with a quiet click and the room was bathed in silence. "I know you're awake, Hugo."

Heat spread through his cheeks as he lifted his face from Stefan's chest to stare at him. His legs, which had been dangling off the edge of the couch for the last few hours, were completely numb. The rest of him was still pressed against Stefan, warm and comfortable, but the instant he met eyes with the other man, he pulled away with a jolt.

"Why didn't you wake me?" he asked, blinking away the sleep in his eyes.

"Because you seemed comfortable. I wanted to make sure you actually got some rest." Stefan sat up and stretched out on the couch. Hugo followed suit, his legs aching as the feeling finally came back in them.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

Stefan waved him away. "It's fine, you needed it."

"Did you at least get some sleep?"

"A couple of hours. I don't sleep much though."

Hugo ran a hand down his face and jumped when a hand grazed his leg. Stefan smiled at him, soft and tentative, his thumb making circles on his bare leg. "Thank you for being there for me last night," Hugo signed slowly, smiling back at him.

"It was the least I could do. I don't think I've ever seen you like that before," Stefan replied, slowly pulling his hand away. "Are you feeling better?"

Hugo frowned, his eyes locked on the carpet below them. His second attempt at sleep went better than the first. From what he could remember, he hadn't had any other nightmares, but the one from earlier in the night, from most nights for the past five years, still haunted him.

"A little, but I'll be fine. I'm used to it," he answered.

"The nightmares?" Stefan asked, wincing when Hugo nodded. "What were they about?" Hugo bit his lip, not meeting Stefan's eyes. He hadn't ever told anyone what they were about, or what happened to his mother five years ago. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

The thing was, he did want to tell him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice begged him to finally say the words, to confide in someone. Stefan seemed like the right choice. He cared for him, looked after him like friends were meant to. But friends were also meant to be able to trust each other, with anything.

His stomach growled loudly, and it made up his mind for him. He stood from the couch, pushing all thoughts of telling Stefan out of his head. "I think I need to eat," he signed. Stefan sighed and smiled at him as he pushed himself to his feet.

"I'll fix you something. How do you feel about bacon and eggs?" he asked. He moved past him and into the kitchen when Hugo nodded. Something in the air changed and Hugo couldn't explain it. Maybe he should have told him, maybe he still had a chance.

He mulled it over the entire time Stefan cooked. He'd been so ready to spill everything. He'd known Stefan for a while now, months, but was that enough time to gather the trust to tell him? A voice in the back of his mind said yes, but there was another part, the part that controlled most of what he did, that screamed that Stefan wouldn't care.

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