｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ( 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 ) chapter six — YOU CAN'T SPELL DISAPPOINTMENT WITHOUT "MEN"
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─ 🧳🕸📺📀🦟🌪🎞⌛️ PLATOON. 1966 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
STELLA'S SHOCKED WHEN SHE SEES 6 AM ON THE DIGITAL CLOCK, and more so that she's in her cot rather than in the GP Medium tent. Shelley's at her bedside, and informs her that after collapsing, she slept right through the afternoon, into the evening and all night, and that the others are very jealous of her ability to sleep through the day-to-day racket. She wants to tell the blonde it's not very nurse-like that she merely took her to bed rather than examine her for the possible causes of her collapse, but she's out of the door in a flurry of power-blue skirts before she can open her mouth.
Be it the heat, the stress, the fatigue or the heroin, she knows the latter isn't doing her any benefits as long as patients are being ferried in. It's all well and good when it's raining and there's nothing to do but sit and wallow in her sorrows, but she's fully aware of the extent to which she's ruining herself. It's just as to whether she really cares about that or not. Part of her says fuck it and who cares and you'll be dead soon anyway, but part of her — the, at times, losing part — strives for the opposite.
The young nurse knows she needs to learn to concentrate without the aid of such hard drugs because she can't be blacking out on the job like the way she did or she'll be sent immediately home, and she can't face that. Her parents haven't received a cheque in weeks because each and every one of Stella's hard-earned dollars are being invoiced to Tony Link for more heroin. No more of this binging, she thinks to herself, this is the last straw. It needs to stop. Immediately.
But the thing is, she's already been trying. She's been trying for weeks to survive without these vices as an outlet for her stress and her sadness because she knows it's a detriment to her own personal health, but becoming clean is seeming unachievable at this point. The withdrawal from the drug is volatile and mood that puts her in is even worse. Stella's trapped in place inside herself, at the mercy of her own body. She wants to scream, but she doesn't. Remember who you are.
The time for thinking, apparently, is over. By the sound of it, a Huey helicopter is coming into land and the MASH unit will be sent into a state of mass hysteria within a couple of minutes. She has a headache and it already throbs, which makes her debate sticking around inside the women's barracks, but ultimately decides that she has a job to do and she'll be damned if she neglects her duty again.
Stella's convinced withdrawal hallucinations have stated taking their toll on her already when she sees Paddy stumble out of the sliding door of that aircraft, but when Elias follows, she blinks the haze out of her eyes and realises that she knows she's not dreaming. It's the men from Bravo's 2nd Platoon, back from a patrol that Stella didn't even know they'd left for.
