Mara - The Lady Grief (Completed)

42 Sleep it Off

2650 B.C.E., The Desert East of the Euphrates

Winter, Month of Shabatu, One Year and Eleven Months after Mara's Rebirth

Thelios

I'm cold.

I fucking hate being cold. What makes it worse is being without shoes. The scales on my soles don't protect me from the cold-as-fuck air of the desert at night in the wintertime. The sand is leeching warmth from my body right through the soles of my feet.

I can see my breath in front of my face. I never saw it in the Underworld, which makes me wonder, is it always warm there and the cold was just me, or do we not breathe in the land of the dead?

Mishu pokes my cheek and clicks his tongue softly, pointing at something in the distance.

I swear under my breath. I've gotten turned around again. I am trying to go west, to the river, then I can follow it to the city, but the drugs still in my system are making me disoriented. It's been a whole fucking day of walking and night has fallen again. I should have been back by now.

"Mishu, do you think Love is fucking with me right now? I keep getting lost," I ask the gargoyle curled up in my vest.

His ears twitch, but he doesn't respond. He probably doesn't know. Or he's angry with me for hurting Mara.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" I ask him.

He shrugs a shoulder. "Saaad," he hisses.

I stagger a little. "I made her sad?" I ask.

He rolls one orange eye to glare at me.

"What if she has fallen in love with him?" I ask Mishu. "I can't be cold again, Mishu. I can't fucking do it."

"You are a long way from your city, Recondite."

I spin around, cursing my delayed reactions and dulled senses.

Standing behind me is a nomadic elder, dressed in colorful, beaded skirts with long dark braids wrapped like a crown on her head.

"Nan?" I ask in disbelief. The memories of Belen's grandmother come tumbling back in. "I'm sorry, Nan. For... shit, I didn't know, Nan. I couldn't remember and he was a cat and I-"

"I know, Thelios. I know. I felt my grandson die, here," she taps her chest over her heart, "but he will walk to Ersetu easily enough. Your sweet Fated ensured him a good journey to her father's city."

I grind my teeth together to keep from protesting. He shouldn't be walking to the Underworld. Gods, he should be walking by my side.

"I'm sorry," I say again, lamely.

She sighs, shaking her head, the beads chiming faintly as she looks over her shoulder.

"Nan, there are dangers in the desert," I start to explain Love's duplicity in releasing the Forgotten, but my words fail me when Nan turns her head back my way.

I stare into the bright green eyes of the mother.

"Enlal," I fall to my knees, bowing my head.

"No, Recondite. Don't be silly. I am still just Nan."

"You are the mother goddess," I say flatly. Just my luck to walk into this trap.

"And Nan. And every mother and grandmother that takes a breath in the above. Now, come with me, Recondite."

I follow her over the rise to the nomad encampment and into the fortune-teller's large tent. Inside, I wait for Nan, or Enlal, to settle herself on her large, overstuffed cushions.