Punk Isn't Romantic

Whipped for you

Dean

My phone buzzed again and I turned it off, grabbing the football from under my bed and heading outside. Axel had been texting me pretty regularly, but with every text I got I just felt worse and worse. It had been a few weeks since our last date and we had began by hanging out pretty much everyday, but I had been retreating a little. 

All he seemed to want to do was make out and I got the slight feeling that perhaps he was using me after all because he still hadn't asked me out but we'd been 'seeing each other' for ages. I had began to believe that maybe what his friends had said was true and Axel wasn't planning on ever asking me.

I had began hanging out with Adam constantly. He was good company and I enjoyed kicking a football around to get Axel and his games off of my mind. Going on so many dates with Axel and feeling like we still weren't together, like it was just a hook up to help him relax after a long day, felt pretty sucky. I had come out so that we could be together openly, but Axel didn't seem to have much intention to initiate a relationship anytime soon.

At first I had been self conscious; had I not been good enough? Did he not enjoy our date? But then I reassured myself he probably just had commitment issues or never thought it was supposed to be an exclusive thing from the start. I thought to myself: if he doesn't want a relationship, I need to distance myself a little to save my feelings when this thing inevitably ends once he finds someone better.

I walked outside with the football and began to kick it around with Adam, practicing a little for our next game but mostly just goofing around and having fun. Adam had left me alone for the most part about the whole going from spending every waking minute with Axel to suddenly barely seeing him. I was just scared of getting my feelings hurt and I think he had gathered this from what little I had said about it.

"Hey guys, room for one more player?" Jeremiah asked, jogging over from his own garden.

"If you can keep up." Adam joked, kicking the ball in his direction.

"Oh, please, you guys are amateurs. Trust me, high school is nothing compared to Uni. The sports, the classes, the parties." Jeremiah shook his head, "Count yourselves lucky."

"I've never been to a Uni party." I shrugged, "Aren't they just the same?"

"My friend is having one next week. Why don't you both come?" He offered, looking at Adam and I with a genuine smile that sort of made my heart thud still.

Adam and I looked at each other and the wide grin on his face told me everything I needed to know: we were going. As much as I loved Adam, he had a one track mind and right now that was trained on one thing: girls. He looked like a child who had been told they were going to Disneyland.

"We'd love to." Adam replied for me, beaming at Jeremiah and thanking him profusely.

"Great. See you then?" Jeremiah grinned, his eyes looking past Adam to me.

"See you then." I nodded back, fighting off a blush as Jeremiah walked away.

"Is this offensive or did I sense some gay vibes?" Adam asked, cautiously.

"He's gay, if that's what you're asking." I rolled my eyes.

"I meant, are you two like... tension? I don't know, like attracted, flirting?"

"You sound so uncomfortable. Just because we're both gay males doesn't mean we're instantly attracted to each other."

"I mean. He's not just any gay male. He's an incredibly attractive gay male, in a completely comfortable in my sexuality, straight way."

"Well, obviously he's attractive. He's my neighbour, though, Adam." I rolled my eyes, "I had a childhood crush on him but that's long gone."

"Sure, it is. Axel better watch out; he's got competition." Adam joked.

That wiped the smile off my face and I laughed, despite it sounding slightly off-colour. Adam checked his phone and scrunched up his eyebrows, reading it several times before picking up the ball and walking over to me.

"Why is your lover boy texting me?" Adam frowned, showing me the screen.

(unknown number): Hey, it's Axel. Is Dean okay? I haven't heard from him in a few hours. Just wondering if you knew.

"Seems clingy." Adam pocketed the phone, without replying.

"That's not the problem, trust me. I'm just getting some air from him at the moment."

We headed inside and had dinner with my parents, just chilling and play video games. It was a nice evening. I like hanging out with Adam because we just clicked; I didn't have to make an effort to keep conversation going because it flowed so naturally. Sometimes we just sat in comfortable silence and it was nice to not have to try and force it.

I rolled over in bed and switched my phone on, seeing literally hundreds of notifications flooding through my phone. I paled when I saw the most recent one.

Axel <3: I'm coming over. I need to know you're okay.

I quickly jumped to text, to let him know that I was fine and he didn't need to come over, but I got no reply. I tried to ring him but it didn't go through, only continued to ring and ring. That's when Adam jumped up, asking what the fuck was at my window. I stood up and saw Axel perched there, knocking to be let in.

"What the fuck. Is this guy seriously at your window, right now?" Adam asked, incredulously.

I was speechless as I slid the window up, letting a lanky emo slide through it. He looked over at Adam and then over at the tv screen showing video games. He then looked me up and down. His eyes seemed to be full of emotions, but I couldn't distinguish a single emotion.

"Didn't feel like answering your phone?" He frowned, looking to where it sat on my bed.

"I've been with Adam all day. I was busy and I left my phone at home." I was still in shock that he'd actually climbed through a window.

"You've been busy for the whole of the last week." Axel scoffed, "Don't worry, I get the memo."

"Takes clingy to a whole new level." Adam muttered, being met with a sharp glare from Axel.

"I was just worried. Whatever, I see you're fine." Axel grumbled, moving towards the window again.

"You can play video games with us if you like?" I offered, meekly.

"I'm good. See you." Axel shook his head, going out the way he came in.

"Well, that was bizarre." Adam barked out a laugh, "Lover boy's whipped for you."