C H A P T E R 24 : Always there.

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Thursday

9:00 p.m.

Aug, 4th, 2013

    I woke up in the bed, dazed, confused, and with a bad headache. I looked over to the clock and realized that it was it night time. I stood up and tried to get up, but I couldn’t find my strength. With the second try, I finally succeeded and walked over to the vanity where my Tylenols rested. As I neared the vanity mirror, tears strained my vision, the bruise on my upper lip stared back at me. Sadness turned into anger as I gathered the strength and marched into the living room.

    As I entered the living room I stopped and stood there. I looked at him in disgust. He looked over to me for a moment, and then stared back at the t.v. I felt like pushing his ass on the window. I’m seriously getting tired of him putting his hands on me, and I seriously don’t know how much more I can take.

   I took a seat on the couch as I continued to ignore him. I grabbed a magazine from off of the coffee table and opened it. At that moment I could feel his gaze upon me, but I still ignored him.

   The fact that the man who’d I had fallen in love with, and had kids with wasn’t the same anymore, scared me. It was like I was living with a stranger and my only escape was . . . nothing.

   Honestly, Darien was never this way. He was very sweet to me, never laid a hand on me, but now it’s like he doesn’t care. I mean I know he cares’ I think he cares; I just wished he knew how much his new attitude hurts me.

   I do so much for this man without as so much as a thank you from him. I swear most times I feel unappreciated. I watched as he got up and walked behind me. I sat the magazine down and braced for the worst. “Why you tensing up?” he asked from behind me.

    In fears of turning around and being hit I just stayed facing forward. “I’m not tensing up, I’m fine.” I answered.

    His eyes raked over me and then he laughed. He was toying with me. He was enjoying the fact that he had the upper hand. The ring of his Iphone interrupted the moment. He walked over to it and answered it. “Talk to me.” he spoke to the other person on the phone. “Yeah, I’m down.” he told them. “Give me about an hour.” With that he hung up and tossed the phone on the couch. He picked up the remote and turned off the t.v. and then sat it on the coffee table gently.

   I watched as he walked over and stood in front of me. As he leaned down I braced myself for another strike, but instead he gently gave me a kiss. It was a kiss that I had never experienced from him before; it felt better than any kiss I’d ever ha, but I’d never admit it to him. I pulled away and turned my head, because even though I was feelin’ it, I couldn’t let it happen.

   Darien blew his breath, but managed to put a smirk on his face. He stood up and began to walk down the hall, and rounded the corner; a few seconds later I heard the front open and him saying, “I’ll be back later.”

   I waited a few seconds before getting up and locking the front door. I came back into the living room and to dead the silence he’d created I cut the t.v. on and flipped through the channels. There wasn’t much on t.v., so I decided on the re-runs of B.E.T’s “The Game.”

   Within ten minutes of the show I fell asleep. Not even an hour or so later, I heard my daughter’s cries. I woke up confused. I rose to my feet and began to walk over to her room. I walked up to her crib and picked her up and then sat in the rocking chair, and began to rock my baby girl back to sleep.

   In the process of putting my daughter back to sleep, I fell asleep. I was awoken by the sound of glass breaking. I stood still as I listened for the sound again. When I didn’t hear it, I got up quietly, placed my sleeping daughter back into her crib and began to walk to the door. I contemplated on rather or not to open the door and check out the sound. I knew that if I did, I’d probably be killed, but then on the hand if I did, I’d probably save my daughter’s life. “Please don’t wakeup baby girl.” I prayed silently as I reached for the light and cut it off.

   I slowly opened the door and stepped into the darkness of my living room. The only light came from the moon that peeked through the floor to ceiling windows. I turned to where the couch was and in the darkness I could see a shadow sitting with their head bowed. Getting the courage I asked, “Who are you?”

   He stood up and as he moved closer I could hear glass crunching underneath his feet. I backed into the light and as he continued to come closer, the light hit his face and revealed his identity.

   I took a deep breath and then said, “You scared the hell outta’ me.”

   He still didn’t say anything; he just looked at me and walked away. The hood on his head and the look on his face made him look evil; like he was possessed.

   As I moved deeper into my living room I could see that it was destroyed. The flat screen t.v. was now on the floor, the couches were flipped over, and glass decorated the floor. It looked as if a hurricane had come through my living room. I felt on the wall for the light switch and when I cut it on, terror filled my face. The only thing that stood was the arm chair that Darien sat in. I slowly moved forward. He had a liquor bottle in his hands. He eyes moved over to me and I stopped moving forward. The bloodshot look warned me not to move any further.

“You know what that bitch did?” he asked as he took a swig from the bottle. “He killed him, that bitch killed him!” he yelled.

“What are you talking about Darien?” I questioned.

“Joey killed him and took everything.” he answered partly.

“Killed who baby?” I asked again.

“My brother, my little brother Josiah,” he answered. “He killed my baby brother Layla, that bitch!” he yelled. I walked over to him and sat beside him. As I rubbed his back I took the bottle of liquor out his hand, and sat it on the floor. “That nigga stole all my money and product, and killed everyone in that bitch.” he vented. “You know how much I lost because of that little stunt he just pulled?” he questioned.

“I’m sorry baby.” was all I could tell him. it was a shame and I felt bad that he had lost his little brother. Josiah was like my little brother, and I loved him dearly.

“You didn’t do it ma, you ain’t got shit to be sorry for, but I know who will be sorry.” he stated.

“It’s gon’ be okay-“

“No it ain’t Layla, do you know how much I fucking just lost?” he repeated. “That was my number one trap house that made most of the fucking money.” he explained. “I don’t give a damn about the other people, if I could, I would trade everything I have just to get my little brother back, any other givin’ night I woulda’ been there to protect him, why couldn’t I have been there tonight?” he questioned aloud.

“Darien it’s not your fault.” I said in an attempt to comfort him.

“My sisters and other brothers don’t even know, and my mom’s. . .what the fuck!” he yelled.

    He took a deep breath and then calmed down. Darien did an unexpected move; he grabbed my hand and started to caress it. He then placed a gentle kiss on the back of my hand. “I’m sorry about putting you through hell these last couple weeks.” he continued. “I want you to know that I do love you and I’ma make it up to you.”

“I know Darien, I know.” I replied back.

   After we stayed quiet for a long moment, and then he said, “I have to get the crew ready.” he continued. “Can you get my bags ready?”

“Of course.” I answered as I stood up and began to walk towards our bedroom.

“And Layla?” he called out.

“Yeah Darien,” I answered.

“I love you girl.”

   I smiled. I don’t know if it was the liquor talking or it was his heart, but at that moment I chose to accept it because of the certain circumstances. “I love you too De’.”

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