Obsession

Chapter 11

Even though I've never actually been in a sexual situation before, I've always known exactly what I want and how I want it. And I've always wanted it with Kai. I've always imagined his hands moving all over my body while those soft, perfect lips kiss every inch of my skin. The thought alone was enough to make my blood hot before, but now that he's actually here, in my bedroom, I'm suddenly feeling cold and nervous.

My mom is out of town until next week, so I have the house all to myself. There's nothing stopping me from giving myself to Kai the way I always dreamed. Nothing except myself, that is.

"What's wrong?" he asks, furrowing his brows.

I've been sitting on the floor, pretending to look for our competition song on my phone for what feels like hours now. I'm sure he's figured out that I'm buying time.

I look up at him and force a smile. "Nothing."

He gets up from my bed and sits down on the floor next to me. "You don't have to dance if you don't want to."

"No, I want to. I just..." I trail off and look down at my phone. I have no idea what to say. I know I want him. My body is screaming that loud and clear, but my heart is telling me that this is too fast. Much too fast.

Kai takes my phone from my hands and reaches up to set it down on my nightstand. He takes my hands into his and turns me so that I'm facing him. He smiles sweetly, revealing his pearly white teeth, causing us both to giggle.

That's when I notice that his hands are trembling. I look up at him and he laughs nervously. He takes one of my hands and places it on his chest, just over his racing heart. "This is what you do to me, Mara."

His beautiful eyes are so vulnerable right now, so open, as if they're telling me that he's just as nervous as I am. His hair falls over his eyes and I reach up to brush it away, not willing to let anything get in the way of looking into them. I keep my hand on his face and contemplate kissing him. His pink lips are so perfect and inviting; just begging to be kissed.

But before I have the chance, he leans forward and kisses me instead. While we've kissed many times this past week, none of them have felt like this. It's almost as if I'm under some kind of spell that I couldn't resist no matter how hard I tried.

I wrap my arms around him and allow him to pull me up onto his lap so that I'm straddling him. Despite his shivering body, Kai seems to know exactly what he's doing. I wonder if he's thought about this as much as I have? His hands trail up my back before moving back down, coming to a stop at my hips.

Our kiss becomes more passionate making the heat between us impossible to bear any longer. His lips move down my jawline and across my neck, sending goosebumps all over my body.

I accidentally let out a soft moan, catching myself off guard. My eyes pop open and I suddenly become aware of what I'm doing.

"Wait..." I say breathlessly, pulling away from him. "I'm...I'm not..."

His eyes are still as vulnerable as they were before, maybe even more so now. I can feel his heart racing against mine. His body still trembles beneath me, but there's something about him that lets me know that he's completely sure that he wants this. He's nervous, but he's not afraid. He's ready.

But am I?

"I've never done this before," I whisper.

He smiles. "I know, but it's okay, Mara...I'm not going to hurt you. I'd never hurt you."

"I know you won't. I guess I'm just worried that I'm not..."

"Not what?"

I laugh nervously. I hate being so pathetic, but this is kind of a big deal to me. "Not good at it..." I force out.