Attack on Titan - Yandere Levi Ackerman X Male Reader

Levi Ackerman X Male Reader: Chapter 4

When Captain Levi left me alone, I sat on the tiled floor naked, wet and splattered in mud from my clothing he had thrown at me in disgust. I was speechless by what had just occurred with the Captain, silently picking up my mud-covered shirt and pants. Frustrated that the day I had set aside to prepare for the Scout Regiment test, had been taken away from me. The Captain assigning cleaning as punishment didn't at first seem like hard labour, just inconvenient. Forcing myself to stand up, I stared down at the soaking wet garments in my hands that were now dripping dirty water down my legs, making me filthy again. As though in a daze, I pulled the chain for the shower releasing the hot water once more, carefully washing out the caked-on dirt on my clothing. Watching the earth stained water swirl down the drain hypnotically like discarding used ground coffee beans. My thoughts tormented me as I questioned if Captain Levi would discard me or if I wasn't up to scratch? Would I be tossed away as useless if I failed? The dirty water collect in a pool at my feet and slowly wind down the drain, feeling like my chances of getting into the Scout Regiment now were washing away too.

Confused by the surreal encounter with Captain Levi, I started questioning what had happened and analysing my actions as I rinsed my clothing. Blaming myself for angering humanities strongest soldier one moment, before shifting the blame on the Captain. The more I thought things over, the more I started to think the orders given were unfair expecting me alone to do the all the chores solo. It was hard to control the build-up of frustration, making my hand clench and squeeze more filthy liquid down myself. Was this how he treated his subordinate's in his Regiment? Is this punishment usual and to be expected? Lost in my own thoughts and shaken up, I tried to ring out what water I could from my clothing in a detached manner as though walking in a dream. Leaving my shirt and pants to dry near the fire in the boiler room in the next room. I stared transfixed at the dancing flames in silence. Did I really deserve this?

No. This wasn't normal chastisement, I finally concluded. I wanted to shout out my building annoyance, but I could hear people starting to come into the shower room next door. Trying to contain my emotions made me shake on the spot, my fists tight at my sides. It felt utterly unfair to be punished so harshly for what was a small misdemeanour. I knew I had to find an outlet to relieve the stress, spotting bags of freshly laundered towels piled up. Without a second thought I started using them as makeshift punching bags, my fists beating into the towels to try and release the frustration that twisted in my gut. My teeth clenched as I pounded the bags repeatedly, but when I felt the burn of tears behind my eyes, it made me stop and inhale deeply to hold them in, tilting my head back with my arm across my eyes refusing to cry. My emotions were so messed up and all over the place.

"Get a grip... " I said with gritted teeth, breathing a little heavier from the exertion,

"You have dealt with worse. It may be unfair but its character-building... It's an order" I said quietly to myself, not wanting anyone in the other room to hear me.

I collapsed on my back on to the bags of laundry, needing a rest a moment. My knuckles were red raw and blistered from the force of my punches, though it was only a physical representation of how I felt inside. Perhaps I was disappointed by my first meeting with the man I had idolized for years. The man I had wanted to meet one day and thank for saving me. The hero I had looked up too. I groaned hard, feeling a pang of guilt for thinking negativity towards Captain Levi. Maybe this was truly hazing of the Cadets and getting wound up by orders was a reflection on my own inadequacy. I felt discouraged but instead of wallowing in my own self-pity, I needed to dust myself off and think that this is bigger than myself. Everyone who wants to join the Scout Regiment is more than likely being put through tests of character like this. Instead of feeling singled out, I should face what challenge I was given. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense that this was just a series of tests that all Cadets experienced. I had to buckle down and get to work and maybe finish sooner if I worked harder. That would be the only way to salvage the rest of the day, I thought as I dressed in my now dried shirt and pants. Getting the cleaning equipment from the room, I mentally prepared for a long day ahead of me.