i miss being a kid
when i could act hyper
and laugh for a bit too long
and a bit too hard
without being
weird
without worrying about being judged
i miss
not feeling the weight
of the world on my shoulder
every time i think
im being annoying
i miss crying to my parents
about having to eat vegetables
instead of sobbing quietly under the covers
trying not to disturb anyone
with my own self hatred
i miss saying what i feel
and standing up for myself
now i don't think I deserve
to defend myself
i believe others opinions
of me
more than i ever could of my own
how could i believe in myself
when i don't even remember who i am
my personality is
buried in all these lies
in all this shame
