But The Sky Stayed The Same

who is to blame but myself

i'm messy

and not in the cute quirky way

like in the oh shit i just pulled a butterfly effect kind of messy

over the past few months, my thoughts have been riddled with blame and regret

and while i do try to live by the age old phrase of "no regerts"

i can't help but feel like this one is on me.

the pain you both feel everyday because i just had to play cupid is on me

and don't tell me that it isn't.

i pushed you two together and intervened when maybe i shouldn't have

i plunged my hand into the cookie jar just to realize

"o shit. my hand can fit in the jar, but can't be pulled back out"

now things are a shit show

no one's together

home lives are dysfunctional and fucking abusive

and everyone's depressed.

we're in spiral mode

like full silly slide spiral

it's like a bad episode of big brother

but like. real

and you know i'm gonna keep things as sweet and light hearted as i can

for as long as i can

so i'm just gonna catch you up

i'm starting a youtube channel. when will links to videos and channels be provided? hecc if i know. i'll probably be doing covers with other little random things but for now, just covers. i have plans for the future but for now, just covers

i'm trying to arrange a night driving date (but not a date) with c.b. i know i know. "but karis! didn't he reject you faster than you could confess your undying love???????" and if you're asking that questions, you would be correct. he dragged my heart through the mud, picked it back up, gave it a damp washcloth, and called it fixed. and as far as i'm concerned. haha

it fix and ur gunna believe that bc i sed so

but yeah. he's gonna pick me up at 8:30 and we're just gonna go drive. nothing big. him and i are just gonna go listen to music and chill and talk.

i play snare on drum line now. and victor plays quads. aND HE'S REALLY GOOD AT IT TOO. the show this year is gonna be really good. if you can finesse your mom into letting you come to a game, you should come just for the half time show because its gonna be a bEast of a show.

okay. it's 2am and I have to be awake in 4 hours for band camp. k bye