Notebook Ramblings

Please Don't Ask

You cannot change your past

Nor can you change your future

because your future holds one thing:

death.

Death is inevitable.

A force field of all the moments you wished

would last forever shattered in one second.

Death is a door slammed in the face of life,

an unrelenting, ceaselessly present reminder

that you only live once.

Death is the period at the end of a sentence,

the big bold letters at the end of a movie,

screaming "The End."

Period. Done. Gone.

You cannot change death or how it happens or when,

because no matter how hard you try to postpone

it or push it to the back of your mind,

it is there. 

It's going to happen.

You live and then you die.

You cannot change the inevitable.

You can, however, change what's happening

right now in the present.

As you sit, contemplating a decision,

what's wrong and what's right,

where it will get you in life,

stop worrying. 

The way I see it, there are two roads to choose from, 

both leading to the same destination.

One is a road that is smooth, straightaway stretch to death

lived in the comfort of knowing one's safety,

driven in a car in perfect condition.

The other is a rocky road that goes over hills

and mountains and valleys and plains,

traveled in cars and boats and trains,

all leading to 

death.

You can take whichever road you choose but they both lead to the same place.

one may make you happier than the other

or it may leave you wanting more

but never knowing what you truly want.

These roads were never meant to be contemplated 

while sitting around.

You go out, you make choices, and you 

live.

That's all that you can do.

Stop thinking, stop worrying.

Just go out and be.

You won't ever get anywhere in life 

by playing it safe and staying indoors.

And as for the past, well, what is there to say?

It happened. It is as unchangeable as a tire on a fish.

You cannot dwell on it or let it control your life

and keep you from moving on and living.

The past is a lesson learned.

Use it to help you make decisions now,

use it to help teach or advise others,

but under no circumstances should you 

use it as a crutch,

as the simple reason to hide away from something

that may derail your life 

or change it for the better.

It's an open book with a few bent pages and a couple tears,

but a book full of memories and moments 

that altered your universe and could quite possibly

help someone else find theirs.

You never know what you can do until you try.

Try to open up, try to take risks, try to just live in the moment.

Appreciate that you are even here in this moment.

You are a part of someone's memories.

You are an unforgotten laugh or a picture of a bad hair day.

You are the drunken best friend at a party too lame to be drunk at.

You are the friend dancing in the middle of the street with a bottle in one hand and love in the other.

You are the stranger met at a concert or a show or a movie that brightened up someones day.

You are the one night stand that changed someones world and made them look for love.

You are the sunbeam that radiated a light so bright into someone's darkness.

You are the customer who smiled relentlessly and got through to someone.

You are the victim of a moment not long enough.

You are the person that no one knew but who still helped those in need.

You are the classmate who knew just enough to help when the teacher wasn't present.

You are the friend who sang loud and off-key but the friend who knew how to listen and be there.

You ARE so you can BE.

Stop caring so much about

what was

what could be

and focus on what is.

You are here in this moment

to live in this moment

and to be a moment.

Be. A. Moment.

Stop waiting for a sign. Sometimes the indicator lights don't blink bright enough

for someone so blind to the reality of the world.

Your sign could be a butterfly

perched on your windowsill

or a traumatic event that

changed the world as you knew it.

Whatever happens, happens.

What matters now is that you try and find happiness

and you put yourself in a position where you can 

truly live and possibly even love.

If that means putting yourself through college

or dropping out to be part of a bigger picture

or to travel, do it. 

You live once.

While some may prefer that you live by the books

and some prefer that you strive for fairy tale endings,

the life you live is a choice you make.

Don't let anyone else be the dictator in your kingdom.