Rush: Mach

Rush: Mach 3

"I cannot believe you said that."

"What. What did I do wrong now."

"How could you criticize Mina's work like that! You know she spent weeks on it! And for you to simply belittles her hardwork!" she grunts loudly, flinging her arms in the air and marches off into the bedroom. He follows her.

"It's called 'constructive criticism’! And I've already put it in a nice way! What else am I supposed to say?! Don't tell me that you actually liked that sad glob she calls a sculpture!"

"That's not the point! We were there as her support system!"

"We're not helping her be better if we just give in and blindly support her shit!!"

"We could save our comments until after the event now can't we?!!"

They scream over each other, both eager to prove their own arguments. The house resonates with their intertwining voices, as if there are 10 people in it. Eventually, he gives up; he always has to. He rolls his eyes and slams his fist onto the door, denting the wood surface, as he turns away from her.

"Don't you walk away from me Lee Jooheon!" she screams from the room.
He shouts back from the shoe cabinet as he slips on his sneakers, "I do whatever the hell I like Rebecca!!" and slams the front door forcefully.

'Is this how being together with a person like?' he questions in his mind. They used to be so sweet together, so gentle and loving in their words and gestures. Now, it's a blessing if they don't fight every few days. He slides into his car and drives out of the indoor carpark of her apartment. He circles around aimlessly, calming himself down with the drive around the neighbourhood. As he waits at the traffic lights, he pulls out his phone and calls someone he knows will have the time for him.

"Yes Jooheony~" a chirpy voice plays over the speakers.

"Minhyuk-hyung, wanna grab some coffee together?"

The boy falls silent for a moment, catching on to Jooheon's mood. He replies with a serious tone in his voice, "Sure, meet you at our usual place?"

"Yeah."

"Aite, on my way there. See you."

He arrives at the location first, and chooses a table hidden in the inner corner of the cafe, shielded from the bright daylight. He orders the drinks and brings it to the table. Shortly after, the bells at the door ring and Minhyuk enters the place.

"So, what's up?" he asks as he plops down onto a chair and reaches for his latte.

"I feel like I can't take it anymore with her," he says, eyes downcast, talking a sip from his iced Americano.

Minhyuk's brows creases, "What happened?" Jooheon sighs, and tells the older boy everything that took place earlier in the morning with Becky at her friend's art exhibition. He listens attentively, and thinks carefully before giving his opinion on the matter.

"But you guys have always been this way, bantering and making up. You told me last time that that's how you communicate, what changed?"

"I'm tired of fighting. We never had a peace that lasts longer than a week. I'm starting to think that maybe we're just not compatible."

"Heon-ah, relationships aren't supposed to be smooth and easy all the time. Efforts have to be made. Maybe you guys just need to talk it out and come up with a way that can help you reach an agreement without raising your voices. You do love her, don't you?"

"...so much. I love her so much it's driving me crazy." He still remembers meeting her the first time, her smile captivated him, his mind trapped in the thought of her. She's so precious, and so beautiful, more so on the evening on the hill overlooking the city, when he confessed his feelings to her.

"You love her this much, surely there is a way to work things out with her. And I know her since we were kids, so I can tell you without a single doubt, she never had a relationship that lasted as long as you guys have. So I know, she's serious about you too."

Jooheon sighs again, believing in Minhyuk. He desperately hopes Minhyuk is right about this, since he's usually right about everything. They chatted and ate at the cafe, and soon Minhyuk had to go; he'd agreed to attend a friend's event that night. He asks Jooheon if he wants to go with him, but the younger boy shakes his head, "I'm not feeling it tonight."

"Well, take it easy alright? Talk things out with her once you guys have calmed down," he says as he pats Jooheon on his back while he leaves. Jooheon fiddles with his phone, when suddenly it vibrates, the screen showing a text from Becky. "Where are you, honey?" she asks. He sends her a reply, and in no longer than an hour, she walks through the entrance of the cafe accompanied by the chiming of the bells. She sits down across from him, where Minhyuk was sitting, and reaches out to hold his hand. She smiles apologetically. His heart warms.
They look into each other's eyes, gauging each other's emotions. "Are you okay?" both said simultaneously. She giggles, he grins.

"Listen, I'm sorry I over-reacted. It was stupid of me," she says, fingers caressing his hand.

He puts his other hand on top of hers, "No, I was insensitive for commenting on her art right before the panels came over to judge her piece."

She smiles, but her eyes tell him there's more to what she wanted to say to him. Tears pool under her eyes; one escapes as she blinks. His eyebrows furrowed, "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

She lowers her gaze, and shakes her head, "No, no honey, you didn't anything besides being a sweet boyfriend. It's me, it's my fault."

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"I’ve just been thinking... and I... I can't let us do this anymore... I can't let us hurt-t each o-other anymore," she stumbles on her words as the other tear rolls down her cheek.

He froze. His brain stops, trying to comprehend what he just heard, "W-...what are you saying?"

"Jooheon-ah..." she sobs, and he rushes to her side and pulls her into his embrace. She wraps her arms around him tightly and buries her face into his chest.
He holds her head gently, "Becky, we don't have to do this. We don't have to say goodbye. We can work things out," he comforts her, tears threatening to run free from his own eyes. He doesn't want to let go; He can't let go of her, no matter how much it hurts.

A couple of people nearby are noticing the commotion that was going on at their table, so he says to her softly, "Let's go somewhere more private, okay?" She nods, and pulls away from him, wiping away her tears. He cups her face with a hand, guiding her gaze onto him. He wanted to kiss her then, to take away the pain from her heart. He could see that she wanted that too, but instead she turns away so she doesn't urge him on with the thought.

They drove in silence, to a place they knew they would be alone: her apartment, since her sister who stays with her is away for the week. His car slides back into the same parking space that he came out from earlier that day.
Back at home, they sit on the couch, hand in hand, her head resting on his shoulder, tears still gathers in her eyes. He plays with her dainty fingers, "Do you love me?"

Tears stream down from her eyes, landing on his shirt. "...very much. So much I can't breathe from how much I love you..." she answers.

"Then why are we breaking up?"

She tries to maintain her composure, "Because we can't go on hurting each other day in and day out. I don't want to hurt anymore, and I don't want to hurt you anymore. But with us being together, that's not going to happen..."

"Becky..."

"It's true, is it not? We love each other so much, but all we're doing is tearing each other down. This is toxic, Jooheon. We shouldn't be this way," she adds, her voice cracking.

His world was crumbling, his mind was spinning and his heart feels like a thousand daggers are stabbing into it one after another. But he can't deny it: their relationship has been toxic.

It was a starstruck romance between them; they are just not meant to be. She is a free spirited young woman, excited to explore life. He is a determined young man, certain of what he wants in life and what he would give to achieve his goals. They have such different outlooks on life, and a polar opposite in their personalities. Yet, somewhere in between, something happened and brought them together. Maybe, it was their strong sense of curiosity of the unknown and the unfamiliar. 'What will it feel like to be with someone who's different from yourself,' each asked themselves. Opposites attract, don't they?

It was an experiment, a road not taken, an adventure into the great unknown. It was thrilling, it was different, it was something they've never felt before, and it was addictive; they just couldn't leave each other alone. For a period of time they were certain, that they've found the one.

The love they shared between them was unlike anything anyone has ever had. It was intense, exciting, the kind that makes your heart race and stop simultaneously. Everything was special, unexpected, unique, and memorable. Every memory is a treasure to protect for life. Every touch was godsend, and every kiss was heavenly. They wished time would stop, so that they could stay like this forever; being in each other's arms, gazing into each other's eyes with so much love and affection that even the deepest ocean could not hold. For a moment, time really seemed to stop. For a moment, they found true happiness.
Until, they've had enough of each other. Adorable little antics starts to become less endearing, habits became annoyances, words became less gentle, and gestures became less loving. She would stay out till late, for projects and club activities, and he would wait up for her until she arrives safely back home. She would get irritated and tells him that he should just go ahead and get some rest first, but he would insist on waiting for her because he's worried. She would find ways to stop him from racing. "It's so dangerous, I don't want you getting hurt," she says, to which he refuses to listen and he'd retaliate. They've argued countless times on countless issues, both too stubborn to back down and compromise.

She wants to go out and play, he just wants to stay indoors and relax and cuddle. She wants to visit the haunted mansion at the carnival, he wants to ride the Ferris wheel and enjoy the breeze and the view. She wants to watch a romantic comedy, he wants to watch the latest blockbuster action movie. The thought of each other shifted from heart-warming to tiring, and the dates became a chore.

When they're in sync, everything feels so right, but when they disagree it feels as if they don't even belong on the same side of the globe. The ups were sky high, but the downs were hell. Finally, it came to this: the end of their whirlwind relationship, despite how much they cared towards each other. They just can't lie to themselves anymore. They have to admit it: they don't have the energy to keep going on like this, wearing each other down on a daily basis, only to struggle to patch things up again. Love shouldn't be a chore; love shouldn't drain your soul. He finally accepts this fact as tears flooded his eyes and air sucked out of his lungs. His heart aches in ways no words can describe, and he wishes that he will never have to feel this way ever again. In that moment, he hated God for the painful lesson in love.

He turns to her, his teary eyes meeting hers, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

A choked 'yes' escapes her lips, suffocating her and killing him. He braves the pain, reaching out and holds her chin with his thumb and index finger, and leans in for one last, long, passionate kiss. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. She smells like fresh strawberries, which he likes. He feels like home: warm, safe and secure, which makes it hard for her to let go of him. Her lips feels as soft as the first time he kissed her, and it takes a part of him away as he pulls away from her, realizing that he will never be able to feel their tenderness against his own ever again. He rests his forehead on hers, gather what little energy he has left in his whole being to leave her. Tears continue to stream from both faces, unable to avoid the looming end in their relationship.

"Goodbye," he whispers, as he pulls her arms around his neck apart, and leaves the apartment as swiftly as his legs can take him, reminding himself every step of the way to not turn back and rushes to hold the sobbing Becky, all alone on the couch.

He reaches his car, slumps into the car seat and sits for a while before starting the engine. He couldn't believe that they're officially over, that they're two separate individuals again. He hits the steering with his hands and screams from the top of his lungs in the small, confined space.

He wipes away his tears, and pushes the 'Start' button to wake his car, then navigates it onto the open road ahead.