𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐓, quackity ✓

patrol.

Alex's pov.

"Alright boys, you both know why we're here." I quickly double-checked that my camera was recording, attempting to grasp the attention of Aksel and Brandon. It shouldn't have been that hard, they both had the attention spans of 3 year-olds. The typical green ring warped around Aksel's icon.

I prepared myself for the probable bullshit that was about to exit his mouth. "No, we fucking don't you moron. You literally asked us 'HeY HoOvEr, AkSeL wAnNa MaKe A vIdEo?' and we agreed." Guess he had me there. Alert the media ladies and gents; I'd just been one-upped.

Also what a poet amirite? He could smooth talk any woman's pants off. "Oh shit true." I broke into a spasm of laughter. "It wasn't even that funny," Hoover added, letting out an airy laugh. I could imagine a clear visualization of his face. I know, I know. I'm a fucking comedian.

And while I could've spent the remainder of the video laughing and bickering with them I figured Susan wouldn't exactly label that quality content. So I pulled myself together in hopes of advancing the video. "I have taken it upon myself, to induct not only myself but you two as well, into being loyal members of the thot patrol."

I flipped to my Instagram tab, giving them both access to viewing my screen. "We're gonna bust ourselves some thots brothers." The yeehaw voice was always suitable no matter the situation. "So should we just like use our regular Instagram accounts or what?" I overheard the buggy sound of Aksel's keyboard.

Was it his shitty microphone or just a shitty discord voice chat? The world may never know. "Uhhhh I guess we'll just use our normal accounts. Like what's the worst that could happen? They track us done and report us for harassment?" Aksel laughed but I couldn't help but notice that Hoover had left the call.

"Op Hoover died. Guess it's just me and you bud." There was a long pause before Aksel dryly replied "Hurray." We then looked at several girls pages. Most of them posted shit that'd even get the Pope demonetized for life. Thankfully the magic of hiding it by using a picture of Dr.Phil's face would come in handy later.

Every so often I reminded everyone to "Be good kids and don't go tell them to stop showing their genitalia for money." Even though that's what we were basically doing. But whatever. The video started running a little long and I didn't want to be up all night editing. So I specified this specific girls page would be the last we looked at.

"Alright Aksel this is the last one." I typed in her page name. Aksel sounded a bit surprised. The particular post I was about to criticize was as follows:

"Dude I know who she is. She ain't a thot." His judgment must've been a little cloudy. He surely isn't looking at the same post as I am. "Why the hell do you follow Alinity?" Aksel giggled like a schoolgirl. "That's not the point. You know who she is so why have I never seen her before?" I pretended to read the caption so I could ignore his response.

"Just because I know who she is doesn't mean I'm come running to you and immediately tell you what I know about her, you idiot. Besides Ani follows her too. Ask her yourself she's not a hoe." I accepted his offer.

I switched back over to discord and added her to the call. She answered strangely fast. "Soooo you know this chick wh- whorepuke?" I personally cringed at my mispronunciation. She and Aksel cackled in unison. "You mean Y/n? Yeah I know who she is. She's pretty cool."

She sounded menacing. "But is she a tho-" Ani cut me off. "No she's not a thot you troglodyte. Watch one of her streams and you'll see." She then removed herself from the call. "Can I go now?" I agreed that he could go. Right after I finished with the video, thanking everyone for watching, all that jazz.

My camera probably was going to stop recording soon anyways. I relaxed back in my chair and gazed over at my clock. My mind pondered Ani's early statement. 2:19 pm. No harm in watching for a little while, right?

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yall mind if i owo