[ shitstain > EK, dolla dolla billz y'all, SATAN, michele, ben10, and lil red]
TODAY 3:09 PM
shitstain: alright which one of u losers changed my username to shitstain because i FUCKING LOVE IT
michele: it was stan
lil red: stan did it
dolla dolla billz y'all: stan
SATAN: This wasn't at all how I was expecting him To Act.
shitstain: this username perfectly embodies an early 2000s insult u'd hear from ur much cooler older brother and im fucking here for it
shitstain: the nostalgia 👌
lil red: i know ur trying to emphasize how perfect it is but whenever i see that god forsaken emoji my brain automatically thinks its a neck
SATAN: Jesus, Bev, a 'neck'? Your Cringy Straight Middle School Boy is showing.
lil red: dammit now i have to shower
michele: i'll never get over how stan's grammar makes everything he says 10000000x more intimidating
shitstain: he lives up to that username of his
SATAN: Just like you living up to yours.
shitstain: i should've Seen That Coming
SATAN: Stop capitalizing Random words, Richie! That's My Thing!
shitstain: 🅱️lease don't hurt me stan i have my whole life ahead of me
SATAN: Yeah, a disappointing one.
lil red: stan said-
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shitstain: hello 911?
yes, i've been Fucking Ended.
dolla dolla billz y'all: stan - 9823, richie - 0 this number is unfortunatly accuate i've kept a log in my notes
EK: Flordia Man Roasts Pile of Trash While Friends Watch in Awe
shitstain: one) bill's log is wrong,, stan actually has 9824 and two) taht hurt
i need new friends
ben10: i'll be ur friend richie
shitstain: me, wiping away a tear: nICE
this is exactly the reason why ben's my second favorite loser
dolla dolla billz y'all: second favorite?
shitstain: eds is my favorite ofc
EK: supposedly I'M his favorite
michele: "you see," i say, turning to face the camera "while sent at the same time, those messages contain vastly different levels of enthusiasm"
