LUKES POV*
I sit on the ground of the clean bathroom stall, i stare at the toilet, i bring a shaky hand to my stomach and press down so much fat, so much fat.
i get back up to my knees and bring three fingers to my mouth, i press them to the back of my throat after taking a deep breath.
I cough and splutter around my fingers, the feeling deep in my stomach pushing the food up my throat-
"LUKE!?" Ashtons worried voice rings out through the bathroom which seems to be unoccupied except for me.
"LUKEY?" Mikeys voice echoes around Ashtons call
I push their calls to the back of my mind and focus on pushing down harder, i cough more and i can feel the food coming up.
Hurried footsteps rush to my bathroom stall door, i don't pay attention too much though.
"LUKE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T OPEN UP THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW I WILL FORCE MY WAY AND BREAK DOWN THIS FUCKING DOOR!" Calums angry tone vibrates around the floor im sitting on.
Come on Luke, you're nearly there.
Pushing my wet fingers back into my mouth, i push down and its all about to come up and im going to get that bit closer to being skinny and being perfect and then maybe the boys will love me and i didn't realize how violently i was crying until i feel them dripping off my chin, i brush them off with a careless thought.
Keep going, keep going, keep going keep goin-
"LUKE!" Ashton pulls on the back of my top, his top.
Which retracts me from the toilet, from being perfect.
"N-no...NO!" I scream through my wrecked throat, i can feel how raw my voice is and how it cracks in all the wrong places.
I thrash around in Ashtons tight grip, trying almost sadly to get back to the toilet.
"P-please Ash, please i-i need it" I whisper after thrashing around for 5 minutes, i look down to the floor, bowing my head in slight defeat.
He cuddles me back into his chest, wrapping his tan arms around me protectively.
"I'm so s-sorry lukey but i can't do that! okay i-im not going to let you get that bad again okay? just please baby" Ashton whispers into my hair, which probably looks absolutely crazy from me running my fingers through it.
I look up to the other boys, seeing Michael slumped on the ground with his legs tucked into his chest and back against the opposite wall, while Calum is standing on guard in front of the toilet, in case i was to crawl helplessly back.
I sigh and just bring my hands up, only to flop them down in protest, i'm over trying to fight them...for now, i just try to blink back the tears as they start to surface.
"Oh baby, you're alright love, we've got you" Ashton says, starting to slightly rock me in his arms, its calming and if i'm being honest it makes me want to fall asleep, i feel myself drain of any energy that was left from my little spaz.
Blinking my eyes profusely to try to stay awake, is unsuccessful when Mikey comes over and starts to run his fingers over my scalp and through my hair, Calum has since sat down on the other side of Ashton and started to hum a tune, its only after he gets to what must be the chorus when i realize the familiar tune, give me love by ed sheeran.
My eyes start to droop and i can feel my body melting into Ashtons embrace.
"Y-you guys should just drop me off s-somewhere f-far away..." I mumble tiredly
I miss the horrified looks all the boys exchange each other
Calum coughs and asks weakly "Whys that Lukey?"
I just huff a bit and as im falling off into the land of lost toys and nightmares, i manage to whisper out
"I'm a broken boy, broken boys don't get to be loved"
-----------------------------------------------
YOU ARE READING
"Not our fault Lukes fat." (UNEDITED)
Fanfiction"Not our fault lukes fat!" Ashton yells with a giggle, Michael and Calum laugh at the drummers choice of a joke, all of them glancing back to the laptop. What everyone misses though is the way Luke frowns slightly, and presses a hand over his tummy...
