Merfolk on Mars

Chapter 9

Arai slowed down and pointed to a sign beside a stairwell connecting to the hallway. "I need to use the bathroom."

"All right," I agreed. "I hope they aren't too far away from wherever these steps come out."

I hadn't used a gravity toilet since we left Earth, and it had also been a while since I used the water suction toilet when I woke up this morning.

We cautiously ascended the stairs to the museum and peeked out the door at the top. No one was in sight. Even better, the bathrooms were close by. The guys left their chainsaws in the stairwell as we entered the museum.

I quickly began walking to the bathroom doors. "We can regroup in the stairwell when we're done."

Isla followed me while both men went next door. The women's bathroom was small – but it was also empty. When I came out of the stall, I paused as I realized something rather significant.

The hand sanitizer dispensers that were everywhere on Earth were nowhere to be found here. Just sinks and bars of soap in the shape of gears.

Isla came out and offered me an alcoholic hand wipe in a baggie.

"Thanks!" I was grateful for the ability to clean my hands without having to hide in a bathroom stall for a minute or two. My old school backpack always had these wipes, but I hadn't thought to grab any for this trip.

"No problem, I gave Corvus several to share with Arai."

"Good thinking."

She grinned at the praise and went to the door, opening it a crack to check if anyone was around. "All clear."

I quickly followed her, catching up to the two boys who were already heading for the stairwell. Corvus slowed, distracted by the roped-off display beside us.

"Why is the chair on a dais?"

"I really don't know."

It must have been a hard question if even Isla was stumped.

Gears slowly turned the dais like some super important object to be admired as spotlights shone down upon it. The chair was some sort of comfy-looking leather recliner, but I didn't see what was so special about it.

Isla paused to read a nearby plaque. "We hereby present Professor Quimby Stirlingwell's first reclining chair! Entirely powered by steam, its posture correcting design is ideal for after-tea naps... and it just keeps going on."

"Is an after-tea nap like an after-lunch nap?" Corvus asked, eyeing up the chair like he wanted to try it out.

"Possibly." Isla kept reading the rather lengthy description.

Corvus took a step forward. "I wonder if that chair is as comfortable as it looks."

"Let's not try it," I hastily said, "it might piss the curators off."

Arai sagely commented, "I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on."

I rolled my eyes. "No. You'd rather be pissed off than pissed on."

"It sounds close enough," he said, shrugging indifferently.

"Uh, no. There is a big difference between then and than," I retorted.

"Huh?" he asked, staring at me with a blank gaze. Then he blinked as realization crossed his face. "Ohhh... Yeah, I don't want that."

I shook my head and muttered, "Don't worry about it. Those two words are almost as bad as there, their, and they're."

"Huh? Those sounded the same to me."

I winced. "Nevermind. I'll get you a dictionary for Christmas."