30-Day therapy

Day 1

I walked into the counselor's office at 9:30 sharp, and the first thing I felt was warmth, (not from heat or anything related) but walking into that office there was something about it that made me feel safe, the aura around me felt like home.

Looking towards the lady in the room I was not expecting who I met, my counselor or therapist (whichever you prefer) was a lady, most likely in her late twenties. She introduced herself and asked me to take a seat

"Hi, I'm jane, nice to meet you" she said and stretched out her hand

"Nice to meet you too" I replied taking her outstretched arm "No offence but i imagined you'd be older.

She laughed

"I get that from a lot of people" she said while smiling "Have a seat".

I nodded and took a seat opposite hers

She picked up a notepad from the table between us and turned on what I assumed to be a recorder, she then looked up at me.

"I went through the form you filled out, you didn't answer any of the questions there, so I just need to ask you a few necessary questions to get us started, are you okay with that" she asked.

"Yeah" I nodded.

"Ok, let's start with something easy" she said "why are you here".

Breathing out I answered her,

"To get help answers".

"Answers about what".

"I don't really know" I replied.

"You don't really know, but you have an idea, don't you". She asked while staring at me.

I shrugged

"Ok, have you ever seen a counselor before".

"No" I said dismissively.

We locked eyes for a few moments then Jane put her notepad and pen on the table.

"Look, if you don't feel the need to answer any of these questions and want to leave, then you should, the door's right there".

For a second I was tempted to stand up, leave and just put all this behind me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Now if you aren't going to leave I expect you to communicate with me, that's the only reason I'm here" Jane said.

"I thought you were here to advise me" I said.

"That too" Jane replied "But I'm mostly here to listen to what you have to say.

"Ok" I said back.

"Alright let's move to something else" she said "How was your morning".

"Not too great, I woke up feeling sore, it could have been from the accident I had a few days earlier or just the odd angle I slept at, whichever it was, it left me sore".

"Do you usually feel that way everyday".

"no, I feel a lot of things at different times, most times I feel lost, like my life keeps moving without direction, I just feel..".

"blank" jane said.

I nodded.

"it's totally normal for you to feel that way, especially at your age where you're just figuring out a lot of things about life".

I leaned back into my chair and spaced out

It just doesn't feel normal. nothing does.