Dead If You Do

Chapter Five

I don't know how long I lay awake in bed, eyes closed but unable to sleep. Long enough to watch the moon be chased away by the rising sun, at least. The morning light casts a blistering glow of red and orange through my window, slithering up my legs and just barely missing my eyes.

A sharp pain shoots through my neck as I shift position. The rough material of the pillow against my cheek reminds me I forgot to make the bed last night; things happened so quick that the thought didn't even cross my mind. Sighing, I sit up and stretch my back. The morning sun makes me squint, but the streetlights are still on, so I guess it must only be around five.

I shuffle to the bathroom, kick my clothes aside and twist the handle to start the shower. Being here feels like a weird dream, like I'm sleepwalking without an idea of what will happen next.

I think back to last night. Did the others go to the party next door like Eden said they would? Against her protests, I left them to it at around one, when the tiredness from travelling started to kick in and I could barely keep my eyes open.

Despite myself, I also think about Wesley. Where was he? He didn't turn up at all last night – not after Riley put the Ouija board away or even as the games of beer pong began. Did he go somewhere else? Or did he just not want to see us?

In a way, I'm glad for it. The atmosphere just didn't feel the same after I withdrew my hand from the planchette; Riley got angry at me for leaving the connection open and she snapped the board shut, eyes glaring at me. Eden and Dan barely had enough time to move their hands before their fingers got squashed.

At the time, I couldn't find it in me to care, but the thought of Wesley joining us after that made me feel sick. Even now, as steam from the shower rises in threads to the ceiling, I picture Eden's face, how the glimmer of excitement in her eyes disappeared as she sat back on the sofa. She refused to look at me for a solid hour.

Literally, an hour.

Tilting my head at the mirror, I wonder if I'd feel different if Daisy were here, if I'd be happier to reach out and meet new people. My new hair suits me more than I thought it would, but it feels displaced somehow, like I'm acting in the role of a stranger.

I reach up and twirl a strand of dark hair between my fingers, watching it catch the light and hint at a whisper of gold. Would she like it? We always spoke about doing something crazy to our hair, but we always thought we'd do it together.

My skin tingles just thinking about it, but instead I blame the mist rising from the shower. I turn the water up to full heat as I step in, releasing a breath that makes my chest feel lighter. It isn't long until the burning begins and relish the feeling. It makes me feel clean, my skin raw but untouched, ready for a new day. It also distracts me from my mind, pushing away the dark mist that so often covers me like a shroud.

I close my eyes, leaning my head against the shower glass and letting the hot air breathe in and out of my lungs. Maybe last night didn't go as planned, but that doesn't mean today won't. I've got an English meet at nine and then the rest of the day to explore what the societies have to offer. Nothing will go wrong -- my luck can't be that bad. Maybe I'll call home and squeeze in some reading time. Today will be good.

If only I knew how wrong I was.

***

When I arrive at the English meet, ten-fifty on the dot, I find Eden. She stands at the bottom of the lecture theatre, talking to a woman I don't recognise. My knowledge of Woodcreek's faces extend to Redwood flat and Amy, so it's not surprising this woman is a stranger to me. What is surprising, though, is how immersed they both seem to be in each other.