"i did a bad thing," sam admitted.
he was back, visiting more than just his mother now. john and dean had graves on either side of her, simple stones with their names engraved, nothing compared to hers. neither of them left bodies.
he didn't have castiel. he didn't have ellen, or bobby or jo or adam.
"i made a deal, to uh, to bring them back. but it fell through. i owe too much, and i have nothing to give."
he held a picture open on his phone, one parker had sent him after he left college. he'd barely managed getting away before they realised he was gone.
he covered his eyes with his hands, trying his best not to cry. his best had never been much, and suddenly he was sobbing.
"i can hear them. i'm just like every other asshole we always tried to help. i'm done, mom."
they were smiling. parker was holding the phone, his arm around sam's waist, just barely in the picture. he had to angle it high to get sam fully in it with him.
"i love you, sam winchester," parker said right before taking the picture. sam smiled for real, his arm around parker's neck pulling him into a kiss just after he'd gotten the picture.
he missed college. he missed his friends, he missed their professors and the late nights and the bad takeout food they snuck into the library while they crammed for a test. he missed parker, and he missed his brother and he missed their angel. he missed a lot of people, but he knew, sitting in the splintering pews, that soon enough he wouldn't have time to miss anyone. he'd be too busy trying to save himself.
