𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

pro(h)stitution

she's standing outside
my fucking room again.

she wants to come in and
feel me kiss her and
have her thighs caressed
while my other hand
slips a $20 into the
fucking cheap, hot pink, lace bra
she bought right before coming.

her knuckles knock on the
latched, 401 labeled door.
(ra-ta-tap-tap)

don't let her in
don't let her in
don't fucking let her in

the hotel door opens easily.

she's on top of me in a heartbeat

kathump kathump kathump

and her breath smells
like stale cigarettes and
when i bite her neck
i can taste the cheap perfume
but at the same fucking time,
her lips are as red as cherries

she loved banana split sundaes

and i want to tie her in a knot with my tongue and
have her so fucking deep inside me
that i come completely

u n d o n e.
rum, run, and the morning sun,
she used to recite

or,
at least,
until the fucking memories of her,

who tasted like wild berry muffins
and cold milk on a sunday morning

are forgotten.

"you only have an hour, love."

"one fucking hour?"

her pale hands are freezing
from standing on the corner and
leaning on a light post
until the right person comes along,

me, the s(f)ucker

and those fucking nail bitten,
stubby fingers are
undoing my blouse and
squeezing my breasts,
the opposite of the tan palms
that were warm from baking and
that slid down my waist and
pinched my hips,
asking for permission to be fucking touched.

"god, you're wet."

"you're not."

my hour is ticking and i'm going
to get some fucking sex from this,
but i am only horny and starving
for the way she bit my fucking lip,
for the way she said my fucking name,
for the way she drove me fucking

i n s a n e.
she knew how to kiss my stomach
and turn me on

pink bra's hair is died blue,

so oily it's almost green like the vomit
she once threw up after drinking too much

and it's swaying in my fucking face
as she fucking grunts on top of me.

she felt like silk against my skin,
nothing like this fucking animal

and she sounds so fucking
stupid when she moans,

"oh, ohhh, yes-"

"moan louder."

and my hands are tangled
in her hair and
my lips are fucking smashed against hers,
but somehow,

she cried when
my teeth cut her lip

my fingers find themselves on her
pulsing neck and they wrap gently
around and squeeze and that
shuts her fucking cherry mouth up

she always liked
to talk afterwards

and all at once,
suddenly,
this feels
better than sex-

"you're hurting me!"

"shut the fuck UP!"

because that line
brings up memories
of her saying the same fucking thing.

she said stop so many times

but,
see,
when she said
she didn't love me anymore,

she was supposed to
FUCKING LOVE ME

all i saw was the red of her hair
and the way it filled my fucking vision.
and i don't remember what happened
next,

she ran out of her lovely breath
that smelled like mints

but,
i think
it's fucking
happening
again

i said i was sorry
but she didn't reply

and i really fucking like
this feeling of power.

because if i can't have her,
then no one can have her

and who would want this girl
i'm currently fucking fucking
anyways,
a waste of my fucking money.
so my fingers squeeze and they squeeze
until they quiet her screams,

"..."

"you sound much better, now,
and you're wet from your pee."

and when i drop her body
to the cold, crisp sheets,
and take off her clothes
that fucking smell
and fucking reek,
i will make real fucking love to the quiet skin below me,

she called it making love,
but she never even loved me

like i fucking did
when she was alive
but this time
i will not have to pay twenty fucking dollars,
and i will have more than one fucking hour.

she says in my head,
i told you not to let her in

but at least
she won't be standing
outside my fucking room anymore.