If You Had One Wish... (Smosh Fanfiction)

1 - Two Guys and a Doorbell

It all began with a doorbell.

The ring of a doorbell, to be exact, and two men standing in front of the door, smiles plastered on their faces like masks. Their hands hid slightly behind their backs and they tried to seem as cheerful as possible, but in their eyes was a glimmering fear of the unknown... what could possibly be on the other side of that door.

The first man glanced at the other man. They had been through this too many times, so it was a risk to even think about touching that doorbell. He could only think about the last house they came to, and how they took five months off after this experience. The thought of it made him want to vomit..

The second man could only think about how much he didn't want to spit peanut butter into his partner's mouth.

After a moment's hesitation, the second man spoke. "I mean... do we really want to do this? Remember what happened..." he swallowed, "last time?"

The first man held up his hand. "Mention that, and you'll jinx us."

"But..." his partner sputtered, "what if we're tricked again? Then what?!"

"Not everybody's as mean as..." he trailed off.

"Yeah. I suppose." He tried to smile. "Besides. We're making kids' wishes come true!" As he said that, he made a swooping arch with his hands. "Just imagine the possibilities!"

Encouraged, the first man pushed the doorbell.

A child came to the door and peeked out from behind it.. He was a short boy with short jet black hair. Everything about this kid was short. Even the way he looked at the two men.

"Hi! You must be Ryan, right?" The men chorused, with terrified smiles on their faces.

"Hi." the kid said, shortly.

The two men exchanged looks, but kept on smiling. "Well, um..." the first man said, fidgeting, "we heard that you've been going through some tough times lately, but we're here from WISH A DREAM to make any wish YOU want COME TRUE." The two men grinned.

The boy just stared at them blankly.

The second man continued with his bit. "That's right, because every wish" they gestured as they explained, "is a dream" pointing to their temples, "and it's our job" pointing at themselves, "to make every dream wish" making a heart using their hands, "COME TRUE."

The boy took a moment to briefly stare at their bright purple shirts (luckily washed over a dozen times since their last visit to a kid) and then stared at them. "I can wish for anything, hmm?" he asked, fighting to keep a smile off of his face.

The men exchanged glances. "...yes...?" they mumbled, hoping these wouldn't be the last words they ever spoke.

The boy raised an eyebrow. "Anything? Even impossible things? Like how can you grant wishes that aren't naturally possible?"

The first man looked mysterious. "Well, these things can happen, but... it's gonna cost you actual money... you know, for the big stuff..."

The boy shrugged. "I'm willing. This grudge is too big."

"What do you mean, 'this grudge'?" the men chorused in question.

The boy repeated his shrug. "I just don't like a specific group of people. They think they're so funny, but they're not. Their ideas suck, so they should suffer." The boy's eyes glittered, delighted by his idea of revenge.

Both men wondered if they should make the boy's wish for him and send him to a mental institution. "What is your wish, exactly?"

The boy waited. "First show me how you'll make my 'dream wish' 'COME TRUE'." He mimicked their sappy voices, and the two men frowned for a second. Then they smiled.

The first man handed a bag to his partner, who opened it up and held out a coin. "We got this from Satan," the second said, nonchalantly. "It only costed his soul." He nodded toward the first man.

The first man rolled his eyes. "Like I needed it anyway," he scoffed. But he smiled again. "The coin, once placed in any liquid, will dissolve and float into the atmosphere. It only takes till the next day for the wish to come true."

The boy pulled out a wallet. "How much?" he asked, rummaging through the pockets.

The men weren't expecting that quick of a response. "Well, uh..."

They turned to one another to deliberate.

"What should we do?" The first asked.

"Get rich off the kid." The second responded greedily.

"But the kid, and our job..." The first whined.

"It's probably another lying kid," the second pointed out, "better get some buckos out of it."

"But the poor kid... we could always get more coins..."

"I ain't selling my soul! What about the kid's soul?"

The first turned toward the boy. "Hey, kid! Are you willing to sell your own soul?"

The boy's prompt reply: "Whatever it takes. I want to see them suffer from their own creations." This was followed by a disturbing laugh, making both men finally question if this was a good idea or not. They didn't even know whose life this boy would be ruining.

"Done," the first said, nonetheless, and flicked the coin over to the boy.

The two men opened their mouths to explain something about the coin, but were interrupted a small, helpless voice behind them. "Wish a Dream? I'm Ryan. Can I have my wish?" A small (not short, small) boy with blond hair and pale blue eyes looked hopefully at them.

"FU(bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)!" The men cursed. "WHY ARE WE SO GULLIBLE?! FU(bleep)!"