If only you knew [BakuDeku]

chapter.1

[katsuki's POV]

it's hard to breathe. I can't keep my eyes open any longer. the ground is so cold. I can't feel my body.

the night sky is beautiful. all the thousands of stars. I have actually never just enjoyed the night sky. I could feel tears ran down from my eyes. sound of my childhood friend calling my name. over and over again. I want to say to him that I can hear you, I am here.

I didn't want it to end like this. I didn't get to tell deku how I really feel. but this is for the best. deku deserves someone that is nice to him. someone that can make him happy. make him smile the brightest smile. deku.

I could feel deku's gentle touch holding my hand. he was warm. I like that. I heard him say my name. I opened my eyes. to see Izuku Midoriya with tears from his eyes. he has traces of cuts and bruises on his face and blood coming from his head. I was laying on deku's lap. it felt nice. I gave him a small smile. I reach my dying hand to his face. I could feel his warm cheek against my hand.

kacchan: "d-don't cry I-Izuku." deku looked at me his eyes widened up.

deku: "K-kacchan, we have to get you to a hospital. HELP, SOMEONE HELP." he started yelling, he cried so much that he got red and puffy eyes.

kacchan: "d-deku, please listen to m-me.*cough* I don't have much t-time." my voice is cracking.

deku: "don't say that kacchan, you will be fine, just fine." he started stroking my hair.

kacchan: "deku, I just w-want to say.* cough*." I am coughing blood. I can't keep my eyes open they are getting heavier and heavier.

deku: "No *sob* kacchan keep your eyes open for me, please. I-I need you."

kacchan: "I love you- Izuku." my vision was getting blurry. I looked at deku one last time before my eyes closed for good.

'goodbye Izuku. I will miss you so much. I will always be with you. cause I love you of all my heart.' my hand that was on deku's cheek feel on the ground.

my lifeless body was now laying on deku's lap.....

[two weeks before]

we are having a stupid class. Aizawa sensei is talking about what the best to do when we are getting surrounded by villains. I knew the answer right away. it's to explode their heads off.

but I couldn't care less about what he was talking about.

my mind was daydreaming again of a green-haired boy with freckles and emerald green eyes. since middle school was over I started getting feelings for deku. I can't explain it. it's just that every time deku comes to my mind. my stomach starts to tickle and I can't stop smiling. or when he smiles, my face starts to heat up and all I want to do is kiss those smiling lips of his.

I get so angry, angry at myself for being an asshole to him. he was the best. I just want to punch me in the face for what I have done to deku. I love him. and I know that I always have. since the first time we talked. the first night we had a sleepover. I loved it all. but I just had to get so cocky and ruin everything. I am such a dick. without even knowing the class was over. and everybody had left the classroom. I stood up and sighed. then I heard heavy breathing. I looked behind me.

my eyes widened and I could feel my face blush. I saw a green-haired boy sleeping on the table behind. he must be tired. cause there is no way he would sleep in a class. I went closer to his face. he was so peaceful when he slept. like a little baby. so cute. I lean in closer until I kissed his forehead. I could hear him snore. it was so adorable.

I sat on my chair again and turned around so that I could see deku's sleeping face. I looked at his arm. all the scars he got from the fights he has had. how much he pushes himself to become a hero. he is pretty dum to make so many scars. but I can't make him change. cause he never listens to me. I sighed. I started laying my hand on his hair and stroke it. so soft. I started calling deku's name softly so that he wouldn't get scared.

......

.....

...

..

.

like hell, I started yelling like the idiot I am. he opened his eyes wide. after hearing me yell his name. he jumped up from his chair. and looked at me. then looked around the class to see that we were the only one in there. he looked back at me and spoke:

"k-kacchan where is everybody?" he was so confused. cute.

kacchan: "the school is over, everybody went home you damn nerd."

deku: "w-what?" he looked outside and saw that the sky had gotten an orange-yellow color. signifying that it was late.

deku: "b-but why are k-kacchan here? did kacchan wait for me?" my face heats up. I looked at the green-haired male standing in front of me. I panicked so I did what every guy in this situation would say.

kacchan: "HUH. LIKE HELL, I WAS ASLEEP TOO, YOU DAMN BASTARD. GO AND DIE."I took my bag on my shoulder and my hands in my pocket. I started heading out. I could see from my side eyes that deku was behind me holding with both his hand his yellow backpack. like a dork. he was so damn lost in thought that he started mumbling again.

it was cute. the way he always got so serious about random stuff. I looked up at the sky. it was getting pretty late. I walked home, with deku walking behind me, mumbling about something. I saw my house. I stopped up and deku stopped up too. I said to him as cool as possible:

"goodbye nerd." then I just walked in. hearing deku saying goodbye to me too a little shaken.

I saw deku walking away. he got smaller for every step he took until he was all gone. I sighed.

"If I just could tell you." I walked in. and I could hear the old hag yelling. like I had time for this.

old hag: "WHO IS IT?" I grunted and kicked my shoes off and taking my uniform jacket of too.

kacchan: "IT'S ME YOU OLD HAG." she popped her head out so that she could see me, she had nice clothes on. I was confused about why she had those clothes on but I didn't care about asking.

old hag: "oh good you're finally here, go and change clothes and take on something pretty ok?" I was even more confused now.

kacchan: "huh, why?" I raised one of the brows.

old hag: "we got invited to the Midoriyas for dinner."

kacchan: "W-WHAT."

✓