Small Description:
Being stuck with such a problem like this, the ash blonde known as Katsuki Bakugou absolutely despised the beat in his chest whenever a certain male passed by. He hated the way that smile wasn't his to keep. He hated how vulnerable this boy made him feel. No one else made him feel this, so why did he feel it now? And during his strive to be number one? No no, that's going to get in the way of everything.
Main Characters:
Bakugou Katsuki , Kirishima Eijirou
AU, if any:
N/A
Warnings, if any:
Profanity/Swearing, Angst
Words: 832
**
Katsuki Bakugou and Eijirou Kirishima. Two complete opposite souls with their hearts tied together on a string of love; an emotion in which is misjudged by how beautiful It sounds and looks. They're like the solar system's planets; never meant to meet. Never meant to collide. And yet here they were: same goals, similar interests, in the same building and the same classroom. No one would ever expect them to have any chemistry whatsoever, and yet they did. How would society know? They wouldn't.
>>
That morning, the blonde was sluggish and wanted nothing to do with the world, let alone go to school and have to in fact deal with his heart. Whilst seating himself, he'd spotted Kirishima happily conversing with Mina and Denki, and part of him wanted to be more open. Alas, he's kept to his fucking self. All the damn time. He took his pent up anger out on the world with the cold shoulder he gave to its beauty. The solitude he felt all in his state of the confined space filled with hurtful words that he called his mind. It all hurt even more when he saw Eijirou smile. He knew that he'd never be able to grasp the joy in that smile.
Which was why he despised his heart. It turned against him and began aching for the love of Kirishima Eijirou. He hated the way his heart rate shot through the rooftops when the red head approached the blonde with an excited expression. It hurt him so much that he had to leave before his heart spoke for him. Bakugou. Despised. Himself.
So when he got home, he cut. He released his heart onto his arms. His pent up emotion he took sharpie markers and doodles onto his skin, doing lineart with the blade of a knife and perfecting everything with his own blood. He painted beautiful pictures all over, just because of his clouded mind. His negativity. He managed to wear long sleeves each day to cover this art. He had to bandage his hands because he'd cut large roses into them on both the backs and his palms. Oh how the process pained him. But his heart still kept up its fucking phases. It kept healing only to shatter into a million little melting pieces when he actually began enjoying Eijirou and his presence.
That's when he figured something out...
Kirishima and Denki became a thing.
That realization made everyday harder for the blonde. Each day, his mind yelled at him for not opening up his walls and confessing to the shark boy. And each day he cut himself deeper, opening old scars and creating new ones. He soon ran out of room to do so. "Fucking hell..." was what he always said when he rolled up his sleeves to reveal he had no space for a wound. Katsuki fucking Bakugou; Lord Explosion Murderer. He keeps this facade up for he's breaking inside. On the outer parts of his shell, he's strong. He's brave. Snarky and arrogant. But deep, deep down; he's a little blur of depression and anxiety, and sleep deprivation for countless weeks on end. He's made up of Regret, wearing someone else's shell to hide how he truly is. How kindhearted and sweet and caring and how much LOVE he can physically feel. That's why he takes the titles...he takes them to shut his shitty mind up. To shut it the fuck out.
He had began taking others' pills, swallowing them dry and gagging right after. Bakugou started on just two a day. Then the pain in his chest tightened and it became more than 10 every five minutes. The pain became oh so FUCKING UNBEARABLE. He'd vomit anything up that went into his system so he starved himself for months. He stopped showing up to U.A. just because of this. Katsuki still walked about the grounds after students were dismissed but...every interaction with Kaminari and Kirishima reminded him of the fact that, well, he's lost. When I say lost...he's lost his chances at life. A successful life. A happy life with no problems in the world that could stop him. There wasn't any other fucking solution to his goddamn problems. The thoughts are still haunting and tainting him. Tainting his precious memories and enjoyable moments. It FUCKING HURT.
That's when he couldn't take it anymore
