I'm Sorry, Goodbye

Chapter Seven - I Can't Stop

Jimin walked towards the dining room, attempting to keep his pace steady. In all honesty, he was nervous. Yeah Namjoon was nice for once, but what if it was a trap? What if they would just talk and then kick him out of the band? Hundreds of questions were spinning around his head, but the most prominent one was What's going to happen?

He soon arrived at the dining room much to his displeasure, seeing all the members already at the table with Jin fluttering in between the chairs, serving everyone food.

Oh! Hello Jimin! Jin said, smiling warmly. Come sit down, we're about to eat.

Jimin tentatively sat down next to Taehyung, while Jin sat at the head of the table.

He had a bad feeling about tonight.

" Alright everyone, dig in". Jin said.

While everyone was eating, Jimin just stared at the plate in front of him.

"Jimin, aren't you going to eat?". Jin asked. The others members shared a look with eachother. This partly confirmed their suspicions.

"I already ate earlier, sorry Hyung".

" But did you really Jimin?. Tell us the truth, when was the last time you ate?". Hoseok said.

Like I said, earlier. Jimin replied with, quietly.

"Stop lying Jimin!". Yoongi exclaimed, obviously frustrated. " We found your food diary, we know that you have practically nothing every week. And if you do eat food, it's so little. Why are you like this Jimin?".

Jimin sat in shock from the sudden outburst. He couldn't answer due to his state.

Now, Jin said. We will eat, and then we'll discuss. He gave a pointed look to Yoongi.

As the others put their heads down to eat, Jimin took the fork in his hand and hesitantly put it in his mouth.

As soon as the taste of food went on his taste buds, he immediately loved it. But as he swallowed it, he could feel vomit rising up in his throat. He quickly jumped out of his seat, running to the bathroom. He collapsed onto the floor, vomiting what little food he had swallowed.

As soon as the food was gone, he continued dry heaving into the toilet. His stomach was cramping up severely, but he couldn't stop. The other members had by now rushed to the bathroom, Taehyung gently patting him on the back and Hoseok holding his bangs away from his face.

Eventually, he stopped. But when he did, he fell to the floor. The other members gasped, moving to get him up. Jungkook picked him up, heading to Jimin's room.

They lay him softly on his bed, covering him in a thin quilt. They took a look around the room, Yoongi wandering into the bathroom.

He opened the Medicine cabinet that was above the sink, looking at what it contained. He saw multiple prescribed drugs in small vials as well as multiple skin care products and the average first aid products. But in the corner of it was a large pack of blades, sitting opened in an almost daunting way. He took a closer look at the cabinet, and saw specks of blood. He looked around the white and blue bathroom noticing more blood as well. He looked into the small bin beside the sink, and saw Tissues and bandages stained with blood.

The average bathroom was a lot less average now.

Guys! Called Yoongi, his mind dwelling with thoughts.

The others stumbled in, looking at Yoongi in confusion

Do you think we should throw his blades away? He said, pointing to the box.

Of course! Jin said. We need to be on high alert, making sure he doesn't do anything to harm himself. We need to get him to trust us again.

<Jimin's Room>

I woke with a gasp, my head spinning and my stomach hurting. The room around me seemed darker and lonelier than before. I couldn't hear any of the usual laughter in the house. Just dead silence.

My breath was heavy in my ears, my heart beating so so loud. The corners of my room held dark shadows that frightened me to the core. Panic rose in my stomach when I thought of the recent events. I had decided to finally eat and yet I threw up, without forcing myself too? Without me gagging and huffing trying to get the last bit of food out? Without me trying?

I wanted to stop it. I didn't want to throw up. I just wanted to have a silent dinner and retreat back to my room. Yet I couldn't. I thought I was in control, yet I was so wrong.

And I think that's what hurts the most. Realising that even if I wanted to get better, I couldn't.