Jotun Prince

Broken

Unlike before, when he'd been woken lazily with the sun, Loki was woken far before it, though he wouldn't be able to tell until he was taken to a room with a window.

He was taken to a room he'd never been in. Unlike the grand, elegantly decorated rooms he'd had his lessons in before, this was barren, moist, grimy. He was pushed into a small metal chair. It squealed as it pushed backward beneath his weight.

The sound was fuzzy, sideways, just like it had been yesterday. Something in him had broken or been broken the night before. He'd been knocked upside the head so many times it seemed like his ears didn't work anymore, like some core piece that made hearing possible had been knocked loose.

Not long after his arrival, someone else entered the room and sat across from him.

It was dark out but he could see the sun beginning to creep over the horizon and into the sky. However, since the room had no light of its own he couldn't see the person in front of him very well.

At least his vision had improved since last night.

"You will do as you're told" said the mysterious figure before him.

Loki didn't recognize the voice but he understood immediately what was going to happen to him. "No" he said defiantly, though whatever prevented his ears from working made the word sound, at least to him, less sharp than he'd intended. He saw the vague shadow of the person in front of him wave his hand. He felt a sharp pain as the guards who'd lead him to this room lash him with something cold and sharp just once.

"You will do as you're told" the voice said again.

"No" Loki repeated, this time more disinterested. Two more sharp pains graced his skin. He understood how this would work.

"You will-"

"No"

Three more pains. This game was not unfamiliar to Loki, it was just more violence. He knew how to stop it from coming. Then again, he'd never been a good listener.

This exchange went on all day, the figure asking him to behave, him saying no, pain. Then it continued the next day, and the day after, and the day after that, and so on. This continued for months.

Thor knew very little of what was going on with Loki. He sometimes spoke to Heimdall about it, asking what he could see. He usually responded with a certain "you dont want to know." He was right. All he knew was he hadn't seen Loki in months and the few times he had seen him he'd looked smug as usual but extraordinarily unwell.

It was another couple of months before Thor saw Loki.

It was raining that morning. For whatever reason Thor had slept longer than usual.

"You're going to be late for breakfast" a familiar voice sang.

Thor grumbled, not ready to wake just yet but that voice... he shot out of bed. Sure enough, Loki stood in his doorway, leaning against it, unchained. Thor summoned Mjolnir.

"Oh, there's no need for that. Come on, I'll walk you to the dining hall." Loki said.

There was something eerily non-sinister about him.

Thor was unequipped to deal with this. He looked like Loki but the devilish look in his eye was missing. He put down his weapon and quickly made himself presentable. Once he was done, he followed Loki to the dining hall. There were no detours, no tricks. They sat at the table.

All throughout breakfast, Loki was a model prince. He was polite, gentle, neat.

Odin looked smugly satisfied with his work.

Thor was astounded and a little creeped out. He half expected Loki to put on a sinister smile and reveal that somehow he'd tricked them all but no such thing happened.

After breakfast, things proceeded normally... or at least as they had the months before the incident.

But even Heimdall who'd seen everything Loki had been through found his behavior unsettling. Or maybe it was because he knew. Regardless, he ended their lessons early. The young Jotun probably needed a break, he'd been through more than any young man deserved to go through in a lifetime.

The boys were dismissed. They went their separate ways, Thor needing a moment to clear his head, Loki content to stay where he was.

After a while, Thor returned, curious to see whether or not Loki had moved, curious whether or not he was capable of doing so without someone telling him to. Searching the room, he found Loki facing the window. So he had some free will after all. He lingered in the doorway for a moment, juggling several contradictory emotions. Just then, Loki's words stuck in his mind.

Do you ever regret being what you are?

I do.

He decided to approach. But as he did, he accidentally knocked over a pile of books. They fell to the floor with a loud boom. Loki didn't seem to notice. Thor gathered the books and clumsily set them back in their place before moving to Loki's side. He placed a hand on his shoulder.

Loki just about jumped out of his skin. "Oh, Thor! I didn't hear you approach" he said, holding a hand to his heart.

Thor would've asked how it was even remotely possible for Loki to not hear him coming if it weren't for the fact that his face was streaked with tears. For a moment, he could've sworn he was looking at the very same Loki who'd been afraid of his father all those years ago. But Loki's face was sending him mixed signals his cheeks were stained with teardrops but his expression was altogether peaceful. "You're crying" Thor said, albeit dumbly. He was taken aback.

Loki's face contorted in confusion. "Why would you say such a thing?" He asked. His hands experimentally wiped over his cheeks only to find more moisture than he'd expected. He looked puzzled.

This was unnatural. Just what had his father put him through? Immediately, he felt the need to fix or protect or undo whatever Loki had become. He was a broken thing, he always had been but this ... He felt guilty. Sure, Loki had betrayed his trust but he'd betrayed him first, he'd lead his men right to him, he'd let them take him prisoner. The Jotuns had killed his friends but Loki was his friend... or had been. "Loki..." he said. He wasn't looking at him.

Loki didn't turn his head.

"Loki?" Thor tried again. It was as if he couldn't hear him. His brows furrowed. He decided to try something. He slowly moved his hand close to Loki's ear, making sure not to fall into his line of sight. He snapped his fingers twice. No response. Finally, he took Loki's face in his hands and directed him to look at him. "Loki, can you hear me?"

"Not well" Loki answered truthfully.

Thor pulled Loki in close. This was too much. He had let things go too far. He felt Loki's arms gingerly wrap around him, barely touching him. Then he heard his voice, strange and distant.

"I am a br oken
th ing."

This, no doubt was the real Loki. Thor pulled away so Loki could look at him. The look on his face indicated he wasn't entirely aware he'd said anything at all. Thor made sure Loki was looking at him before saying "I'm sorry for not noticing earlier. I'm going to help you now"